The Spouse of a Heart Attack Survivor One Year In

Jamison and I recently celebrated his one year heart-aversary 

with a weekend away.

No, I'm not the one who had the heart attack.  That was my husband.  But just as February 1, 2019 changed his life forever, mine was changed, too.  I've learned over the past year that everyone who has a heart attack is impacted in different ways.  I imagine that the same goes for those who love them.  This is how my life has changed over the past year.

Increased anxiety - There were key decisions that I made throughout the day back on February 1, 2019 that played a key role in my husband's survival.  Leaving work early.  Calling 911 when I did.  Of course, I did not know that at the time.  Over the past year I have found myself frequently questioning my actions.  Should I stop at home first?  Should I go to the grocery tonight or wait until tomorrow?  I worry if my husband does not respond to my texts.  He could be taking a nap, but in my mind he's laying unconscious in the hallway.  My concern for my children's health has spiked to an outrageous high.  I worried before, but now I am all over them about eating fruit, drinking water, exercising, making healthy choices.  I've taken steps to manage my anxiety - deep breathing, exercising, medication - but it still sneaks up on me.

I can't remember where I found this picture,

but I think it is a perfect illustration of my anxiety.

Cheerleader Captain and Senior Listener - As a spouse I've always been my husband's #1 fan.  I've been there to support, encourage and listen through many ups and downs.  For the past year, my husband's heart health has been one of our top priorities and topics of conversation. We've had many doctor's appointments, multiple ER visits and an extended hospital stay this fall.  We've had great victories like my husband walking his first 5k.   We've had moments of doubt and sadness debating if we should go to the hospital or wondering if life will ever be the same.  We've had moments of arguing -   "Step away from the mower Jamison!  You are NOT to mow the lawn!"  We've had moments of joy and love simply looking at each other thankful for another day.  And we've talked about my husband's health A LOT.  Like very frequently.  Like everyday.  (I understand that this is normal for a survivor.  You know I love you Jamison!)  Sadly, I've read posts on social media and articles about relationships that have ended because of a spouse's health.  I'm not perfect and my arms do get tired at times from shaking my pom poms, but I'm proud that we've made it another year on this marital journey.

Jamison and I after walking his first 5k!

Head Chef - This part of the journey has been a lot of fun.  I was disappointed in the lack of nutrition education we were provided with after the heart attack.  The food that you put in your body plays such a key role to your overall health.  Prior to February 1, I knew that single fact in my head.  After February 1, I knew I had to expand upon it.  We took it upon ourselves to learn more about food and the role that it plays in our health.  My friend Dana, a registered dietitian and fitness instructor, met with us as a couple and then continued to counsel me.  Actually, we started texting each other about food choices while Jamison was still in the cardiac ICU!  Over the past year Jamison and I have made significant changes in our diet.  It shows in our physical appearance, but in many other ways such as our blood work and how we feel physically (My feet and ankles no longer swollen and hurting by the end of the day!) and emotionally.  I've had so much fun trying new foods and recipes.  It's been interesting to embrace label reading and discover cravings for food that I never thought I would enjoy on a regular basis (sautéed brussel sprouts, onions and turkey bacon - AMAZING!).

Brussel sprouts, onions and turkey bacon - YUM!!

Embracing the Moment - I'm much more aware of the people and events around me.  I purposefully try to soak in every moment.  I find great delight in times that my kids and I just laugh and joke around.  A good meal - I savor every bite.  Morning coffee with my sister - I sip slowly and enjoy every second.  I was  the person who said "I love you" every time I parted ways with family and friends.  Now I say it more.  I have chased friends down to give them a hug and tell them I love them before they leave the office before going on vacation!  This year has reminded me that I have no idea what tomorrow holds so I must enjoy today.

Faith - I have been a follower of Christ for most of my life.  In looking back on February 1, 2019, I can see how God worked every detail out so that every player was in the right place at the right time.  There have been more times than I'd like to admit over the past fifteen years that I have had some pretty dark conversations with God asking him what in the heck He was doing with my life.  This was not the life that I had imagined.  This was not the life that I wanted.  What was going on???  There have also been numerous times that God has revealed Himself to me demonstrating that He's there and I need to trust in Him.  None so great, however, as February 1, 2019.  My life was changed.  My faith was deepened.  My resolve to live for Him and share His love with others renewed.

One final way that my life has changed since my husband's heart attack is that I have gained a deeper understanding that every spouse is impacted by the heart attack in a different way and that is OK!   I'm on my journey.  Your journey is going to look different; however, my prayer and hope is that you find comfort in the knowledge that you are not alone.  I'm here.

March Fourth: It's not Magic. It's a Starting Point.

picture from "Joe on Twitter"

"March Fourth didn't work for me.  My goal didn't come true."

I had someone tell me that today when I wished them a Happy March Fourth (What is March Fourth?  It is the only date on the calendar that is a command.  March Fourth . . . Move Forward . . . Get Moving . . . Go!!!).  Her statement caught me a little off guard.  Celebrating March Fourth isn't an instant solution to a problem or mean that you will change a bad habit overnight.  It's not an "Advance to Go and Collect $200" card from Monopoly.  There is no magic in celebrating March Fourth.

picture from www.boardgames.com 

However, I think that magic is exactly what people are searching for.  We want the pill that will take away the pain forever.  We want the shake that will shed the pounds without having to break a sweat.  We want the big office, the fancy car, the title at work without having to start at the bottom and work our way up.  We want to be able to state a goal or a dream and wake up the next morning to find ourselves magically living our best life. 

1. That is never going to happen.
2. That is not what March Fourth is about.

March Fourth is a reminder that in order to achieve your goals and dreams you have to keep moving forward - especially when it comes to your health.  Your goals and dreams are only going to "come true" when you work for them.

picture from bluejayblog.wordpress.com

For those of you who made a New Year's Resolution and gave-up because you messed up after a few days or weeks - This is the perfect day to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and give it another try.

For those of you who have just plain given up on ever making a healthy lifestyle change because you just can't do it for whatever reason - you have no willpower, you're too weak, you don't like carrots, the calling of the couch is too strong - This is the perfect day to set those feelings aside and try one more time.

For those of you who think that you don't have time to make healthy choices in your life right now - you'll think about that later when your kids are grown, when your bills are paid off, when you're done with school - This is the perfect day to challenge yourself to make one healthy addition to your day.

Today is the perfect day to throw all of the doubt and guilt and anxiety and frustration and worry and indifference away.  You can make healthy choices in your life.  You can create change.  Start small.  One small step + one small step + one small step = a BIG change.

Here we go . . . It's going to take some work.  It's going to be hard at times.  You're going to want to give up.  You're going to mess up!  But if you keep moving forward - marching forth toward your goal - you WILL succeed!

picture from www.frozenfruitco.com

Need some help?  Choose ONE of the goals listed below and challenge yourself to complete it within the next 24 hours:

1) Today I will drink THREE glasses of water.
2) Today I will do 25 jumping jacks (whether all at once or in 5 groups of 5).
3) Today I will eat ONE piece of fresh fruit.
4) Today I will high-five FIVE people that are not members of my family.

It won't take long and I know that you feel great when you have accomplished it.  Then, set another goal for yourself.  And then another.  And just keep going.

Today is the day to start . . . Today is YOUR day.
March Fourth . . . Move Forward . . . Get Going . . . GO . . . a life filled with healthy choices waits for you!

March Fourth treats in the Break Room today!

6 Simple Actions to Take TODAY Toward a Healthier You: Number Four

I sit here writing again from my husband's hospital room.  After his heart catheterization showed no blockages requiring intervention, he is now here under observation while the doctor's try a new medication to keep his heart in rhythm.  One thing this confirms for us is that all of Jamison's hard work in cardiac rehab and with his diet changes is paying off!  I know that if it making simple changes can help my husband improve his health, it can work for you, too.

So far we've talked about meal planning, increasing you daily movement and drinking more water.  My fourth idea for you of a something you can do TODAY is eat fresh fruit.  I'm constantly asking my family - have you eaten any fruit today?  For me, I try to eat fresh fruit with every meal.

Homemade Pineapple Salsa to serve with

Barbecue Pulled Pork

What are the benefits that I've found from eating fruit everyday?

1. There are numerous health benefits to every kind of fruit.  For example bananas and cantaloupe are good sources of potassium.  Blackberries and apples are high in fiber.  Fruit is good for your overall general health, but specific fruits have been found to have specific benefits towards specific diseases.

2. Fruits are naturally sweet which helps curb any craving that you're having for something sweetened by sugar or an artificial sweetener.  Exchange your daily afternoon candy bar with an apple or a banana!

Celebrating my staff's success with fruit instead of

sweets such as cookies or donuts.

3. There are so many different types of fruit that there is always something new to try - plumcots, stair fruit, dragon fruit, rambutan, kumquat . . . the list goes on and on and on.  There are also plenty of new recipes to try that include fruit.   I love trying new things, especially food! 

Apple Nachos with Cashew Butter and Chocolate Chips

I have found that the key to increasing the amount of fruit that I'm eating is to make it easily accessible.

• Keeping a bowl of fruit on the kitchen counter.
• Cutting up fruit and placing it in baggies or containers that I just grab out of the fridge.
• Carrying fruit with me (You can always find an apple, pear or orange in my purse!).

Making healthy choices doesn't have to be hard or complicated.  Even the simplest action - like eating some strawberries or a plum - can have benefits to your health.  Give it a try!

6 Simple Actions to Take TODAY Toward a Healthier You: Number Three

This morning I am writing while sitting in a hospital room waiting for my husband to return from a stress test.  We came to the Emergency Room yesterday afternoon with shortness of breath and dull chest pain.  Our third trip to the ER since his heart attack last February and second overnight stay.  Having a heart attack changes a family's life FOREVER.  You question even the slightest twinge.  Is this the beginning of another heart attack?

Even more this morning than yesterday, I cannot stress enough the importance of taking care of yourself.  Making changes can feel impossible and overwhelming when habits are ingrained into our routine, bur I found that once I got the ball rolling it wasn't that hard to make the wise choice.  The perfect example is drinking more water.

I used to drink a lot of coffee, pop and Kool-Aid.  Throughout the day I would guzzle coffee and pop because I "needed" the caffeine to stay awake.  Plus, that fast food burger I was picking up for lunch everyday tasted so much better with a large cup of ice cold pop.  Then when I got home, I would switch to Kool-Aid filling four tall glasses to serve my family with our dinner.  Today, I drink one cup of coffee to start off my day and then switch to water.

Photo from APEC Water Systems

 There are many health benefits to drinking water such as

• lubricating your joints
• delivering oxygen throughout your body
• promoting strong function of your digestive system
• maintaining your blood pressure
• boosting skin health
• regulating your body temperature (www.medicalnewstoday.com)

"Water is also critical for your heart health. Your heart is constantly working, pumping about 2,000 gallons of blood a day. By staying hydrated – that is, by drinking more water than you are losing – you are helping your heart do its job." The Heart Foundation (For more information on how important water is to your heart health, check out this article from The Heart Foundation https://theheartfoundation.org/2019/03/08/the-importance-of-water/) 

So you know the important role water plays for your health, but how do you put that into action?  Here are four simple ideas on how you can drink more water during the day:

1. Set a water goal for yourself (Make sure it's a SMART* one!).  If you are one who normally drinks anything but water, this can be hard at first.  Start small - two or three glasses a day - and then build yourself up to more.  You can do it!

• I will drink water with all of my meals this week.
• I will only drink water in between meals this week.
• I will drink four glasses of water a day this week.

2. Add fresh fruit to your water - lemon or lime wedges, berries, apple slices, watermelon balls or a combination of different fruits!

3. Buy yourself a new cup or water bottle.  You don't have to buy an expensive one.  I get myself new ones seasonally.  I love searching for my new cup when I'm out and about.  New cups make me happy - may sound bizarre, but try it!  Right now I'm using a Halloween Cup that I got at the dollar store.  

4. Try sparkling water or flavored water.  There are so many different options in the stores these days.

One of my favorite water bottles - a gift from my sister!

What is one simple action you can take TODAY toward a healthier you??  Go drink a glass of water!  And then another and just keep going from there!

*I mentioned earlier about making sure your water goal is a SMART one.  I'll talk more about SMART Goals later this week, but here's a sneak peek at SMART goals.

6 Simple Actions to Take TODAY Toward a Healthier You: Number Two

My husband's heart attack back in February of 2019 was our wake up call that we had to make changes in our lives to improve our health and to be examples for our children of the impact our choices make on our health.  I've found that the simplest of changes can have big results.  This is the second blog post of a six part series sharing six SIMPLE action steps you can take TODAY towards a healthier you.

The second healthy choice we've been making since my husband's heart attack is to MOVE MORE.  In today's world, it is so easy to go through an entire day and really not move very much.  A lot of communication is accomplished through text and e-mail - even when you're all in your house!  We can go grocery shopping without getting out of our car.  We can pick-up dinner through the drive-thru.

My husband and I both wear watches that track out movement.  There are days that he may not be feeling his best or that I have a lot of meetings.  At the end of the day, we're shocked out at how few steps we have taken!

What can you do to add steps to your day?

• Park in the farthest parking spot from the front door (Classic idea, but it works!)
• Skip e-mail, text or picking up the phone - get up and communicate in person
• Take the stairs instead of the elevator
• Walk around your office building on your break instead of checking your social media
• Put on some music while you load the dishes or make dinner and DANCE!
• March in place while you watch TV or just during the commercials
• When shopping take an extra lap around the mall or the outside aisles of the grocery store
• Walk around the field/court/parking lot during your child's sports practice
• Go for a quick walk around the block while dinner is in the oven

I have found that there's not always going to be time for a sweat dripping high intensity workout, but I can always find time to add some movement to my day.  A little something is better than nothing!

This sounds easy, but I always say that the hardest part of adding movement to your day is standing up to get started.  Remember - if you don't get up and get moving, nothing is going to change.  You can do it!

6 Simple Actions to Take TODAY Toward a Healthier You: Number One

My husband's heart attack was one heck of a wake up call that it was time to analyze the choices I was making when it came to my health.  For the past nine years I've been running and going to Zumba and lifting weights and cooking healthy foods, but nine years is a long time and I had started to drift a little.  Plus, life changes a lot in nine years.  My old basket of tricks was not working like they used to. 

On a positive note - It's been eight months since his heart attack and while I'm still anxious about whether or not another heart attack will sneak up on us and my stress level feels through the roof most of the time and I'm so incredibly tired all of the time, I'm proud of myself that I've maintained a focus of making healthy choices. I guess after a heart attack, how could it not?

If you are reading this than I imagine that you, too, are juggling many balls in the air.  You know those juggling routines where someone starts to juggle three balls and then someone throws in a fourth and a fifth and a sixth?  You watch amazed at how the juggler is able to keep so many balls in the air.  At the same time, you're wondering what's going to happen when the next ball is tossed in.  What will be the juggler's limit?  That's how I feel.  I'm working very hard to keep all of my balls in the air.  If one more ball is tossed in or if one ball goes out of sync, it's going to be all over.

So how do I keep my healthy choices ball in sync with all of the other balls that I'm juggling?  Answering this question forced me to pause and analyze how things were going - what habits needed to be added, what habits needed to be tossed our and what habits need to be tweaked a little bit.

Since February, I've been telling people - begging people -  to let our wake up call be your wake up call.  Over the next week, I want to share with you seven simple things that I am doing in my crazy life to continue to make my health a priority.  So here we go with number one . . .

Meal Planning is VITAL to my being successful in making healthy food choice.  

Meal planning is a simple task.  It can take as much or as little time as you want it to, but the benefits of meal planning are HUGE!  You will feel more in control rather than wandering aimlessly through the grocery store so you are more likely to make healthy choices.  You're stress level will be greatly decreased because what you're serving for dinner is one less worry.  You'll be more likely to stick to your food budget and waste less food because everything you put in your shopping cart will have a purpose.

I normally get my meal planning done during a break at work.

I've been planning my family's meals for years.  Having a plan in place helped me avoid last minute trips through the drive-thru or picking up a pizza on my way home.  Meal planning is actually one of my favorite things to do.  Looking through old cookbooks, cooking magazines and Pinterest to find delicious recipes to try.  Coming home and cooking was a way for me to relax after a busy day.  At this stage in life, however, that feeling of relaxing went out the window and meals have been adding to my stress.  So I still plan our meals every week, but I've made two key changes:

1) Cook two meals over the weekend to last me the entire week.  Seeing as I am currently often out of the house for breakfast, lunch and dinner, I need to have things to grab out of the fridge and throw in my lunchbox.  I still have the joy of looking up new recipes to try.  Instead of trying them on my family, I just make them for myself.  On the weekend, I cook my two meals and then divide them into containers for the week.  For example, this weekend I made Chicken Vegetable Soup, a Barbecue Beef Roast and six baked potatoes.  Luckily for me, I don't get tired of eating the sane thing multiple times in one week!  And selfishly, I can prepare meals that I like, but that would send my family running from the table.

I couldn't live without my crockpot!  This is simply three chicken breasts,

peppers, onion and a jar of spaghetti sauce.  YUM!!

2) Introduced my family to OYO Nights (aka On Your Own!).  Between my daughter working and  going to school, my husband managing his multiple medical appointments, tests and therapies and my working three jobs it got nearly impossible for me to cook for us as we are never at home all at the same time or by the time dinner was ready it was 10PM.  I love cooking for my family!  It's one way that I express my love for them.  But in this season of craziness, I realized that cooking for my family every single night of the week is not a reality.  Now when I write out my menu for the week, there will be several OYO nights.  I make sure that the kitchen is stocked with the ingredients that they need to make a dinner that they will like, but after that it is up to them.

These may seem like two simple ideas, but I'll tell you - it took me several weeks to figure how to juggle healthy meal planning, healthy meal prep and this season of crazy schedules.  Since I made these changes, I feel so much more relaxed and I have time to make additional healthy choices which had been dropped from my juggling act.

One thing you can do for your health is take a little bit of time to plan out what you're going to eat over the next few days.  That time you spend will have great benefits in the long run!

Happy planning!!

Words of wisdom from my dad!  

Observations from Behind the Cash Register: A Compliment Goes a Long Way

I can hardly believe that in a few weeks I will be celebrating one year at my Side Hustle as a cashier.  It sounds so cliché, but it feels like just yesterday I was sitting in my car crying because I was so scared and nervous to walk into the store!  Now, I look forward to punching in for my shift!

One of the many observations that I've made about our society is that we are very quick to throw out a complaint and very slow to give a compliment.

Over this past year I've seen a handful of customers loose their cool on Team members.  To be honest - usually the issue is out of the Team members' hands or is the customer's problem.  For example, one time a customer screamed at me because he felt I was bagging his items incorrectly.  He bought two packs of football cards and three matchbox cars.  Seemed reasonable to me to put all five items in one bag.  He, however, wanted the football cards in one bag and the cars in another.  That is no problem.  I would have put each item in it's own bag if he wanted!  Instead of asking, he started screaming at me that I was bagging his items wrong and did not know how to do my job.  He was screaming loud enough for my manager to come over to see what was going on and get an earful about my lack of cashier skills.  As the customer left, my manager, those standing in my line and I just shook our heads asking each other, "What in the heck happened in his world today to make him so grouchy?"

Don't get me wrong, there are definitely instances when it very appropriate to ask to see a manager to complain about a service that was received or something that a Team member said.  However, I encourage you, as a customer, to pause and think before you publicly rip someone apart.  Was this an honest mistake?  Is this out of the person's hands who is standing before you?  Am I the one who is incorrect?

What has happened way more than I expected is Team members going above and beyond to provide excellent customer service and brighten someone's day.  Making silly faces to calm a screaming child.  Assisting an elderly guest with their purchases.  Taking the time to explain how someone can save a few extra bucks.  Offering a listening ear.  More often than not, the customer recognizes this extra touch of goodness and voices their thanks to the Team member.

There have been instances when the customer takes their gratitude to the next level and asks to see the manager.  I love watching a manager come over expecting to get an ear lashing and instead learn of how their employee has done something special.  Just as great is seeing a staff members face as a manager shares with them that a customer called in to the Corporate Customer Service Line and left a message raving about the service they received or filled out an on-line Customer Satisfaction Survey and mentioned them by name.  The Team member is smiling.  The manager is smiling.  Co-workers are high-fiving and calling out words of congratulations.  It's a great moment that boosts everyone's confidence driving them to provide great customer service to the next person in their line.  Some places of businesses offer other incentives when an employee gets a shout out from a customer.

It doesn't take long to stop to speak to a manager, take the survey at the bottom of your receipt or call into the Customer Service Line to leave a comment specifically mentioning the employee who went above and beyond for you.  The impact that you are having on the employee, manager and entire team is HUGE!

I challenge you this week to take a moment to give a SHOUT OUT to an employee who provided you with excellent service or went above and beyond to help you.  You'll be making a positive impact in someone's life and it won't cost you more than a few minutes of your time.