Escaping my Emotional Eating Escapade

This week was the perfect trifecta of stress for me.  I know that anytime I have high stress there is always a risk of my health journey taking a random sudden turn off road.

One - There was a holiday.  I secretly hate holidays (guess it's not much of a secret anymore!).  They make me feel like crap.  They never meet the expectations I have in my mind (And no we cannot blame this on my potentially unhealthy love of Hallmark movies as I'm sure some of you who know me may be thinking.  I am fully aware that they are completely unrealistic and unreasonably perky.).  Overtime I have learned to lower my expectations and always think that I'm going into the day with the right attitude and then BAM - sadness hits me in the face like a boxing glove.

Two - Work was stressful this week.  I love my job and I thrive on the chaotic world that exists within the four walls of the Adult Day Health Center.  But this week was tough.

Three - My delightful (she seriously can be quite delightful!) daughter worked six days in a row before jetting off to Puerto Rico at 3AM this morning for a week-long Missions Trip.  I don't need to say anymore here.  If you have a teenage daughter, granddaughter, niece, neighbor - you know.

My downfall started when I went to the grocery store on the Fourth of July.  My daughter wanted to make her favorite Buffalo Chicken Dip so I popped into the grocery store to get her the ingredients.  And it was there that I paused in front of the large Oreo cookie display.  In that very brief moment, I made the dreadful decision to put a pack of original Oreos into my cart.

I am tuned in to the fact that Oreos are my weakness.  I normally walk past that display at a quick pace with my back to the rows of blue and white packages.  I don't even look at them.  But on this day they were calling me and in my state of mind I felt that I needed them.  I needed the comfort of the cream filled chocolate cookie paired with a glass of cold milk.  So I bought them.  And I went home and proceeded to eat an entire row.  They tasted so good.

Later in the week my co-worker asked me if I wanted anything from the corner store when she was running over for lunch.  I handed her a couple bucks and asked her to get me a Pepsi.  WHAT?  I rarely drink pop anymore.  What was I doing?  I was craving an ice cold Pepsi - that's what I was doing.  Hearing the fizz when I opened the bottle and feeling the tickle of the carbonated beverage slide down my throat was so good.

Then there was the secret stop for an ice cream cone on my way home from work.  On a hot day, the refreshment of that cold ice cream was so good.  And the few times I visited the candy drawer at work.  Chocolate - so good!

Last night we went out for dinner to celebrate our daughter and her best friend heading off to Puerto Rico.  The restaurant that we went to serves large and small sizes of their dishes.  I ordered the large. I hadn't given it a moment's thought until my husband and the server commented on the size of my burrito (Yes that server did - can you believe it?!?  Don't give my husband's comment a second thought - It was made out of accountability not judgment.).  I shrugged my shoulders and enjoyed my meal.  It was so good.

Later that night my daughter asked me to help her weigh her suitcase.  We couldn't get it on the scale while being able to see the numbers.  As frustrations began to escalate, I offered to get on the scale and then get on a second time holding the suitcase.  I told my daughter that in no circumstance did I want to see or hear the number that popped up on that little screen.  I try not to focus on the scale, rather I use the jiggle of my chin fat to judge myself.

Despite my best efforts, it happened.  I saw those numbers.  YIKES!  I looked up and saw myself in the mirror.  Chin fat is in check, but that number!  UGH!!

Then CLICK!  Just as quickly as my emotional eating had kicked in to high gear in front of that Oreo display, I felt my internal dial click back over to a healthy eating focus as I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror.  I can't explain it.  I just knew that little off-road journey was over and I was back on the path determined to be as healthy as I can  be.

Why share this personal story with you?

1) If you struggle with emotional eating, please know that you are not alone.  I've been focusing on making healthy life choices for over eight years now and I still fight this battle.

2) It's important to accept the fact that you are going to have blips in your journey like this one because they are going to happen.  No one is perfect.  The key is to not give up.  Instead, do what you need to do to get yourself back on the healthy path.  Sometimes, like in this case, it just happens.  Something clicks.  Other times you'll need to fight - fight hard! - to get yourself back.  And that is OK.

3) I encourage you to spend some time getting to know yourself.  There were several times throughout this experience that I recognized important moments
     * I knew that high stress can trigger my emotional eating.
     * I could identify what was causing my stress.
     * I am tuned in to the fact that Oreos are my weakness and I made the choice to put
        them in my cart.
Knowing what will set you off can help you to avoid those situations.  And if you find yourself stuck in an emotional eating rut, being in tune with your body and your emotions can help you to escape.

Today was a good day getting back on track.  I drank lots of water.  I made myself a healthy breakfast and lunch.  I exercised.  And when my husband and I went out for dinner, I ate three slices of pizza and stopped when I really wanted to keep eating!  My hands are firmly on the steering wheel as I continue to navigate this crazy healthy journey that is my life.