Using Mystery to Battle Stress

This past week I had the opportunity to attend a workshop led by one of my biggest professional role models - Teepa Snow (www.teepasnow.com) who specializes in Dementia care.  Throughout the day Teepa talked about the intense stress experienced by caregivers.  One of the stressors she discussed was negative anticipation and the need to combat the negative anticipation with moments of positive anticipation.  I know the perfect way to do that!  MYSTERY!

Negative anticipation is when we are waiting for something bad to happen filling our lives with worry and anxiety.  Our phone rings - What if that's the school?  Is it the nursing home to say Mom fell again?  Is it another bill collector?  We get the mail - Will there be a letter from the mortgage company?  It's weigh in day - Did I gain another pound?  There's no way I lost weight this week.  Dad needs me to go the doctor with him - What will the doctor say?  Is it more bad news?  

Reality is not going to go away.  However, we can combat that negative anticipation by purposefully creating positive anticipation for ourselves.  What is one way to do that?  By adding some mystery to our day!  By giving ourselves something positive to look forward to aside from the worry and dread that can start to take over our lives.  

I started doing this several years ago and it has made a difference in my life.  Mystery has added fun, created good memories to reflect on and lowered my stress.  Here is a previous blog post I wrote about adding mystery to our day:

Will my husband be able to get out of bed today? Will I need to call my parents to come take care of the kids? Will I get everything done that needs done today? As a mom and caregiver I found that my thoughts were overrun with the negative anticipation of the next crisis. 

One day, I read an article in a women’s magazine about how adding an element of mystery can spice up a relationship. Right now my relationship was fine, but my own life definitely needed some spice. How could I add mystery to my life?

That Friday was my monthly self-proclaimed Donut Day. Once a month I would treat myself to two donuts and a coffee for breakfast. For a year I had been getting the same thing. This month I decided to spice things up a bit. I asked the server to pick my donuts for me and then I turned my back to the counter. She handed me my closed bag. The two minutes that it took me to get from the counter to my car were very exciting. What kind of donuts did she give me? Chocolate? Cream-filled? Glazed? I couldn’t wait to open that bag!

Those turned out to be two of the most relaxing minutes I’d had all week. To be thinking of something fun instead of something stressful was wonderful. I arrived at work with a smile on my face instead of a pounding headache.

My first attempt at adding mystery to my life was successful so I decided to try again. In making plans to meet a friend for dinner I asked her to pick the restaurant and only give me the address for my GPS. When getting dressed one Saturday I had my daughter pick out a shirt and then I based my outfit on it. I bought a crazy flavor of potato chips that I had wanted to try and waited a couple of days before opening the bag. 

Now I'm constantly thinking of ways to include some positive anticipation to my day.  If my GPS takes me on a route that I'm not sure of, I can just go for it and see where the GPS leads me.  When I'm reading a book and get to the last chapter, I can set the book aside for the day or an hour to let myself anticipate how things are going to end.  There are so many possibilities!

The negative anticipation is still there, but the added spice of mystery provides me with enough of a break to keep pushing ahead.

Escaping my Emotional Eating Escapade

This week was the perfect trifecta of stress for me.  I know that anytime I have high stress there is always a risk of my health journey taking a random sudden turn off road.

One - There was a holiday.  I secretly hate holidays (guess it's not much of a secret anymore!).  They make me feel like crap.  They never meet the expectations I have in my mind (And no we cannot blame this on my potentially unhealthy love of Hallmark movies as I'm sure some of you who know me may be thinking.  I am fully aware that they are completely unrealistic and unreasonably perky.).  Overtime I have learned to lower my expectations and always think that I'm going into the day with the right attitude and then BAM - sadness hits me in the face like a boxing glove.

Two - Work was stressful this week.  I love my job and I thrive on the chaotic world that exists within the four walls of the Adult Day Health Center.  But this week was tough.

Three - My delightful (she seriously can be quite delightful!) daughter worked six days in a row before jetting off to Puerto Rico at 3AM this morning for a week-long Missions Trip.  I don't need to say anymore here.  If you have a teenage daughter, granddaughter, niece, neighbor - you know.

My downfall started when I went to the grocery store on the Fourth of July.  My daughter wanted to make her favorite Buffalo Chicken Dip so I popped into the grocery store to get her the ingredients.  And it was there that I paused in front of the large Oreo cookie display.  In that very brief moment, I made the dreadful decision to put a pack of original Oreos into my cart.

I am tuned in to the fact that Oreos are my weakness.  I normally walk past that display at a quick pace with my back to the rows of blue and white packages.  I don't even look at them.  But on this day they were calling me and in my state of mind I felt that I needed them.  I needed the comfort of the cream filled chocolate cookie paired with a glass of cold milk.  So I bought them.  And I went home and proceeded to eat an entire row.  They tasted so good.

Later in the week my co-worker asked me if I wanted anything from the corner store when she was running over for lunch.  I handed her a couple bucks and asked her to get me a Pepsi.  WHAT?  I rarely drink pop anymore.  What was I doing?  I was craving an ice cold Pepsi - that's what I was doing.  Hearing the fizz when I opened the bottle and feeling the tickle of the carbonated beverage slide down my throat was so good.

Then there was the secret stop for an ice cream cone on my way home from work.  On a hot day, the refreshment of that cold ice cream was so good.  And the few times I visited the candy drawer at work.  Chocolate - so good!

Last night we went out for dinner to celebrate our daughter and her best friend heading off to Puerto Rico.  The restaurant that we went to serves large and small sizes of their dishes.  I ordered the large. I hadn't given it a moment's thought until my husband and the server commented on the size of my burrito (Yes that server did - can you believe it?!?  Don't give my husband's comment a second thought - It was made out of accountability not judgment.).  I shrugged my shoulders and enjoyed my meal.  It was so good.

Later that night my daughter asked me to help her weigh her suitcase.  We couldn't get it on the scale while being able to see the numbers.  As frustrations began to escalate, I offered to get on the scale and then get on a second time holding the suitcase.  I told my daughter that in no circumstance did I want to see or hear the number that popped up on that little screen.  I try not to focus on the scale, rather I use the jiggle of my chin fat to judge myself.

Despite my best efforts, it happened.  I saw those numbers.  YIKES!  I looked up and saw myself in the mirror.  Chin fat is in check, but that number!  UGH!!

Then CLICK!  Just as quickly as my emotional eating had kicked in to high gear in front of that Oreo display, I felt my internal dial click back over to a healthy eating focus as I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror.  I can't explain it.  I just knew that little off-road journey was over and I was back on the path determined to be as healthy as I can  be.

Why share this personal story with you?

1) If you struggle with emotional eating, please know that you are not alone.  I've been focusing on making healthy life choices for over eight years now and I still fight this battle.

2) It's important to accept the fact that you are going to have blips in your journey like this one because they are going to happen.  No one is perfect.  The key is to not give up.  Instead, do what you need to do to get yourself back on the healthy path.  Sometimes, like in this case, it just happens.  Something clicks.  Other times you'll need to fight - fight hard! - to get yourself back.  And that is OK.

3) I encourage you to spend some time getting to know yourself.  There were several times throughout this experience that I recognized important moments
     * I knew that high stress can trigger my emotional eating.
     * I could identify what was causing my stress.
     * I am tuned in to the fact that Oreos are my weakness and I made the choice to put
        them in my cart.
Knowing what will set you off can help you to avoid those situations.  And if you find yourself stuck in an emotional eating rut, being in tune with your body and your emotions can help you to escape.

Today was a good day getting back on track.  I drank lots of water.  I made myself a healthy breakfast and lunch.  I exercised.  And when my husband and I went out for dinner, I ate three slices of pizza and stopped when I really wanted to keep eating!  My hands are firmly on the steering wheel as I continue to navigate this crazy healthy journey that is my life.

6 Healthy Choices You Can Make TODAY!

Sometimes life can be overwhelming and the notion of thinking about your own health feels like the one thing that will send you over the edge to insanity.  Pause.  Take a deep breath.  Focusing on your health does not have to feel like a burden or a huge time stealer.  I've found that it can be the exact opposite - it can be easy!  It can actually be fun.  Here are seven  healthy choices that you can make today.

1) ADD MOVEMENT TO YOUR DAY
These are ideas that I imagine you have heard a thousand times and probably rolled your eyes at the suggestion a time or two.  I know I did, but then I actually tried them and found that they are easy to accomplish.  Park at the far end of the parking lot.  Take the stairs instead of the elevator.  Set your phone to prompt yourself to take a break and walk around your office or down the street and back.

2) EAT A PIECE OF FRESH FRUIT
The health benefits of fruit are amazing.  Fruit can impact your health in ways such as boosting your mood, keeping you regular and strengthening your bones!  I make it a point to eat fresh fruit at least once a day and now I crave it.

3) DRINK MORE WATER
Replace one can of pop or cup of coffee with a glass of water - just one!  I love to buy myself fun colorful plastic cups.  Getting a new cup every few months adds some pizazz to that water.  You can find great ones in the dollar stores!  You can also combine suggestion two and three by adding fresh fruit to your water to give it some taste. 

4) SCHEDULE A ME DAY
Take a moment to look at your calendar and find a day or half a day or two hours that you can block off for yourself (Don't forget to request the time off of work if you need to do that!).  I try to do this once a quarter.  Sometimes I take off an entire day and spend it in my PJ's binge watching TV.  Other times I might take two hours off and go for a walk in the park or sit in a coffee shop and read my book.  Planning ahead ensures that I do it and it gives me something special to look forward to.

5) TRY SOMETHING NEW
When is the last time that you tried something new?  A new recipe?  A new class at the gym?  Walking in a new park?  A new route home from work?  A new flavor of ice cream?  It doesn't have to be a big thing to add a little excitement to your day and give you a boost of energy.

6) 10 MINUTES OF FREESTYLE DANCING
I recently attended a workshop on Dancing and Dementia.  Research on the impact of unchoreographed dancing on the brain is unbelievable!  10 minutes of freestyle dancing a day had a greater impact on brain health than completing a crossword puzzle everyday.  Plus, you get a little cardio workout in.  Go ahead - put on your favorite song and shake it!  Another bonus - I bet your family joins in!

You might be thinking that these are all small things and that doing one of these today won't impact your health at all.  I disagree.  After doing one thing, you are going to feel good.  I bet that you will feel so good that you will be inspired to make another healthy choice.  And then another.  And another.  All of those small healthy choices will add up to a big impact on your health.  Don't believe me?  I challenge you to try it.  Trust me - it will work!

If you give any of these ideas a try, I'd love to hear from you!  Leave a comment below to let me know what you tried and how it went.  Or you might make a simple healthy choice that I didn't mention - I'd love to hear your ideas!    

JJ's New Workout Game: Three Foul Shots or RUN!

Once again my teenage son had spent a large amount of his day sitting in front of the TV playing video games.  I told him that after dinner he and I were going to workout - no complaining, no excuses, no arguments - we were heading outside and we were going to sweat!

Much to my delight - and a little to my surprise - after we finished the dinner dishes my son said to me, "I'm ready Mom.  And tonight, I've planned the workout."  WHAT?!?!

Grabbing his basketball, we headed down to the bottom of our driveway (We have a single lane driveway that goes down a hill to our garage behind the house.  Our vehicles are parked at the top of the driveway one in front of the other.) .  JJ explained to me how he had adapted a basketball drill his 7th grade coach used during practice.  Here's what we did:

We took turns standing at the Free Throw Line.  Each of us got up to three shots per turn.

If you missed the first one, we both had to run to the top of our driveway touching the street with our foot and back to the very bottom.

If you made the first one, but missed the second one, we had to run up to touch our jeep (parked in the driveway closest to the street) with our hand and back to the very bottom.

If you made the first two, but missed the third one, we had to run up to touch our van (parked in front of the jeep) with our hand and back to the very bottom.

If you made all three, it was the other person's turn.

We did three rounds of eight total turns per round with a two minute break in between each round.

It doesn't sound like much as I type it out, but we were both dripping with sweat and out of breath by the time we finished.  Several things made me fall in love with this workout - 1) The fact that my son took the initiative to think plan the workout and suggest that we do it is obviously #1!  2) The element of surprise.  You never know which shot is going to go in!  It is very difficult to make the shot when you are out of breath.  3) Sprinting up the driveway over and over was a GREAT workout!  Plus, the more people who play the more running you do.

This game can be adapted to multiple sports - shooting a hockey puck in a net, kicking a soccer ball into a goal, throwing a football through a hoop.  You can also adapt the running to whatever space you have.  In the case of JJ's basketball practice, they had to run different lengths across the gym floor.  You could even do different exercises - If you miss the first you do 25 jumping jacks, miss the second you do 15 sit-ups, miss the third you do 10 push-ups.  The key is that your child likes the sport so that they engage in the game.  

Have fun trying out JJ's new game!  I know we'll be playing it again!

Balance is a Big Picture Word

"Mom, are you going to the gym tonight?" my son asked me one day last week.

"No.  I'm going to hang out with your dad.  It's only my second day back at work since his surgery," I answered

"What's happened to you?  You haven't gone in a couple of weeks!"

What happened?  Today has happened.  Life has happened.

I have spent a lot of time over the past several years agonizing over finding balance in my life. Finding balance in how I spend my time so that I am able to fit everything in that needs to be there. The list of responsibilities and activities that are classified as "needing to be there" goes on and on and on and on . . .

I have driven myself crazy trying to fit everything in to my day.  I have gotten up early and I've stayed up late.  I have created and edited To Do List after To Do List.  I have asked friends to hold me accountable so that I am not tempted to miss something,  I have called ahead to my family so that as I slow down in front of my house they are ready to sprint out the door and hurl their bodies into the car. I have written out schedules and then re-arranged them ten times in one day.

I wear a bracelet that signifies balance in the hopes of having a visual reminder of my quest to find balance.  I have re-listened to a sermon about Elizabeth's journey of finding balance (http://communityumchurch.com/portfolio/current-service-3-13-16-influential-balance/gallery/sermons/).  I have cried.  I have felt guilty.  I have driven myself crazy.

The list of ways that I tried to find balance is longer than the list of activities that I'm attempting to balance!

Over the next couple of nights as I laid on the couch drifting in and out of a light sleep waiting for the alarm to prompt my husband to take his medication (He got his tonsils out.  Sounds like a simple procedure, but at 42 - not so much!), my mind raced.  Was there a problem?  I hadn't exercised consistently in a few weeks.  There were several things that I hadn't done recently.  Everything had been focused on prepping for my husband's surgery and then his recovery.  Before that we were wrapping up the school year and prior to that was Tennis Season.  Life has been a little hectic.  There was zero balance! I was quickly returning to the mess that had been my life six years ago.

At some point in the midst of my mind's exhausted haze I had a moment of clarity.  Yes - life is hectic.  But NO - I am NOT a mess.

How is that possible?

It's possible because my focus has not changed.  I am still focused on making healthy choices when it comes to handling my stress, eating, time management and my family.  My plan has not changed - I still want to be healthy.  I still want my family to be healthy.

When life is hectic, my stress level sky rockets.  So I'm pretty stressed out right now.  But I'm handling it in a healthy way.  I'm making wise choices.

The lessons I've learned: 

1) I will never be able to find balance every single day.  It will even be difficult to maintain perfect balance in a week's time.  That's because balance is a big picture word.  With all of the roles that I fill right now in this stage of my life, there are always going to be people or activities or responsibilities that require more of my attention.  That doesn't mean that I'm giving up on the other roles.  One of them will come back to the forefront in a few days or next week.

BALANCE IS A

BIG PICTURE WORD.

For these past couple of weeks, my husband has been my main concern.  Our children stayed with my parents.  I took several days off of work.  All of the meals that I planned were bland and soft so that he could swallow them.  My roles of wife and caregiving spouse were in that #1 spot.  Yet, I maintained my focus on being healthy.  I reached out to my support system when I found myself eating more chocolate pudding than my husband.  Their series of funny texts kept me out of the fridge!

This weekend, my role of Tennis Booster President was in that #1 spot as the Team volunteered at our community's summer festival.  I spent the entire weekend at the park operating the Crazy Colors Game Booth.  I stayed on track by packing my meals and treating myself to a small bag of Kettle corn.

Starting Monday life calms down for a little bit.  My meals are planned and prepped.  I'll be back in the gym.

In two weeks when we start three weeks of various camps for the kids a touch of chaos will return.

But overall - Balance.

2) Balance requires maintaining my focus.

My niece maintaining her focus on the balance beam.

I picture my 8 year-old niece on the balance beam.  She focuses on a spot on the beam to keep her balanced.  At times she may lean over to the right.  And then she may lean far to the left causing her one foot to come off the beam.  But by maintaining her focus she is able to re-gain her balance.  She may fall off now and then, but she jumps right back up on that balance beam!

Life may pull me to the right and then pull me to the left, but by maintaining my focus of making healthy choices even amongst life's most stressful or busiest moments, I can stay on that balance beam of life.

BALANCE REQUIRES MAINTAINING

MY FOCUS.

In a nutshell: Instead of worrying about fitting everything in TODAY (work, the healthiest of meals, exercise, my kids' getting to exercise, spending time with my husband, volunteer responsibilities and on and on . . .) I will take a step back and look at life through a wider lens.  How have the past few weeks looked?  Have I maintained my focus amidst life's chaos?  I will look at the big picture.

Dancing in front of the Mirror

A couple of years ago someone shared this image on facebook.  I laughed because the image itself is absolutely hysterical, but also because it is so true!  When I am at my Zumba class, the inner me is shimmy-ing and thrustin' and shakin' and bustin' quite a fantastic move on that dance floor.  My dream as a young girl was to be a Solid Gold Dancer shaking my tush in those metallic gold costumes.  This was my moment to dig that dream from the depths of my brain and live it out on the dance floor of Firehall #6.  In reality I'm sure Cat (my most incredible instructor) is seeing quite a frightful scene when she scans the room in my direction.  But that's ok because I can't see the true me in that moment and I know that everyone around me is so focused on Cat or their own moves that they don't notice me flailing around.

Until I showed up at Cat's Saturday morning class in a room where half the walls are covered in . . . MIRRORS!  WHAT?!?!?

For the first couple of classes I tried my best to stare at the floor or the ceiling and not let my eyes catch even the quickest glance at the freakish woman jumping wildly to the beat of the music.  But after a few weeks, curiosity got the best of me and I couldn't help but stare at this woman trying her best to match the rhythmic moves of the instructor.  I was truly shocked at the fact that the hips and pelvis I truly believed were shimmy-ing and thrustin' and shakin' and bustin' some kind of move were in reality hardly moving.  No wonder whenever Cat told us that our core should be burning that I was feeling nothing.  I assumed that my core was buried so deep under fat that I just couldn't feel anything.  Boy, was I wrong!

I began to study Cat a little closer and look at my own body (Yes, I practiced in front of the mirror at home!).  If I spread my feet a little wider, bent my knees a little more, tightened up that dreaded core and stopped worrying about what my arms were doing in that moment I managed to get a lot more action going on down there below my belly button!  Then guess what happened?  I felt the burn!  My core burned.  Whoop!  Whoop!

I learned several things from this revelation:
1) It is important to spend some time studying the structure of a move (in Zumba or any form of exercise) in order to gain the maximum effect.  This could take just seconds as Cat is teaching us a new routine or require a little extra practice at home.
2) There is a core buried deep within me.
3) I'm glad that I finally took a look at myself dancing in front of the mirror.

That's me in the grey t-shirt bustin' a Zumba move!!
Photo credit - SkyBird Photography

My BFF Amy (right) and I with our most incredible Zumba Instructor Cat.

So Happy I Pushed Myself to Run and not Sit Out!

Excitement.  Guilt.  Fear. Anticipation.  Indecision.  Anger.  Hopefulness. 

These are all of the emotions I was feeling as I got out of my car this past Saturday at the Forbes Road CTC 5K, an event my sister organized to raise funds for the school's scholarship program.  I had been one of the first to sign-up when registration opened several months ago.  And then the sinus infection happened.  The longest and most annoying illness of my entire life.  It would not go away and I was sidelined for over a month. 

Now here I was at the first 5K since I had finally recovered.  Should I run?  Walk?  Cheer from the sidelines?

I was excited to be there and feeling good.  Yet I was angry at myself that I hadn't pushed through the fatigue and exercised more over the past few weeks even though my head knew that I had done the right thing.  If I sat out, what kind of example would that be for my kids?  There was the fear of being embarrassed in front of my fellow runners if I couldn't finish and had to call my brother-in-law to pick me up at Mile 2.  I was also hopeful that the excitement of this event would be the motivation I needed to get back on track!

Standing at the Starting Line I still hadn't made of my mind of how I would handle the next 3.1 miles.  As I stood there I was reminded of advice my mom had give me when I was training for my first 5k and had been ready to give up.  She reminded me to not worry about what other people around me were doing or saying.  To not worry about the way I felt I "should" be running and do what works best for me. 

In that moment I decided that I would start off with my normal 2/1 interval.  However instead of running for 2 minutes and walking for 1 minute, I would run for 1 minute and walk for 2 minutes.  If that turned out to be too much, I would drop down to pure walking. 

My sister yelled "START" into the Megaphone and I took off (I know that gives the image of me sprinting from the starting line.  It was more of a slow gallop.)  1 minute run . . . 2 minutes walk . . . 1 minute run . . . 2 minutes walk . . .

The Finish Line showed up much quicker that I anticipated.  I maintained my pace the entire race and I felt FABULOUS!  Not one single time did I want to quit or question my decision to run/walk the event.  My body felt great, my spirits were high and I felt such pride in myself.  I did it!!

My son JJ and I at the Finish Line

If I had opted to walk, I would have been happy with myself for finishing but not felt the exhilarating high of having pushed myself.  If I had opted to sit out, I would have missed the joy all together and been kicking myself for not participating.

 

I am SO happy that I made the choice to participate!  What a huge reminder for me to push myself and go for it.  Five years ago I made the decision that I don't sit on the sidelines anymore.   I want to experience life and not always be the one cheering on others.  I encourage you to not sit on the sidelines - get up and join the FUN!!  That choice will change your life! 

 

(NOTE: Medically I am all better and was cleared by my doctor to return to my normal exercise routines.)

 

JJ and his friend Blake volunteered at the event.

More pics from this fun event:

 

My awesome sister and Race Director Meg (in green)

Beauties Ellie and Katie



One of the many selfies Ellie took during the morning.

Why You Should Make a New Year's Resolution

What is your New Year's Resolution?

That's the question of the hour this time of year. 

I hear a lot of people reply that they don't make resolutions.  "Why bother, I don't keep them anyway," they say. 

Is that you?  If it is, I ask you to pause to read this and reconsider that response.

Take a moment to consider why you don't keep them.  I imagine that it is because 1) your previous resolutions have either been too vague or too big and 2) you have an all or nothing mindset.

This year I'm going to eat healthy.

This year I'm going to lose 100 pounds.

This year I'm going to exercise everyday.



There are some people that can make broad or big statements like that and stick to them.  I'm not one of them and I imagine that I am not alone.

I'd say - "This year I'm going to eat healthy."  I do just that for the first few weeks of the year.  Then there is a big football game and I'm making all kinds of scrumptious tailgating food.  There goes that resolution out the window!  Back to my old way of eating!

I'd say - "I'm going to lose 100 pounds this year."  Over the first few weeks I would lose five pounds.  Then I'd have a stressful week where I would eat a little more, exercise a little less and . . . BAM!  Gain two pounds.  There goes that resolution out the window!  Back to my old ways.

I'd say - "I'm going to exercise everyday."  I'd work out on the Wii or go to the Y or go for a walk everyday for a few days.  Then one night I have to work late.  The next night JJ has a basketball game and Ellie needs help with her homework.  The next night I take Ellie to her music lessons and there is a meeting at church.  Yikes - three days in a row with no exercise.  There goes that resolution out the window!  Back to skipping the gym.

If I can't be perfect ALL the time then I want NOTHING to do with this resolution. 

Five year's ago I made a New Year's Resolution and I kept it.  I kept it because 1) my resolution was specific and 2) I didn't give up. 

My health was heading down a dangerous path.  I needed to make wiser choices and get healthy.  But what exactly does that look like?  I needed to lose at least 50 pounds, but to me that was a huge number.  I needed to eat better, but I really like chips and brownies. 

I set my focus on something smaller - a 5k run.  I knew what that looked like.  I could picture 3.1 miles.  16 laps around the track.  1 trip around the big block plus 1 trip around the little block.  I could picture myself going that distance. 

My New Year's Resolution for 2010 was very specific - I will complete a 5k.

I mapped out my plan to achieve that goal and got to work.  But it wasn't always easy.  There were days that I didn't exercise.  Sometimes several days in a row that I didn't exercise.  There were days that I stress ate so much pizza on a Friday night that the idea of putting on my running shoes Saturday morning was not even on my radar.  Those were the times I wanted to give up.  "I screwed up - no running for three days.  Might as well quit."  "Too much pizza - epic fail!  Scrap the idea of getting healthy . . . again!" 

But I DIDN'T give up.  Instead I said to myself, "Ooooops!" and purposefully made the choice to get back on track.  Guess what happened - that feeling of complete failure was quickly replaced by the feeling of complete joy in the victory of clearing that hurdle. 

It is in that moment where most people get stuck.  Do I throw my hands up in defeat or do I purposefully pick myself up and forge ahead?   No matter what I do, I'm not going to be perfect all the time.  Instead of raising a white flag in surrender to my imperfections, I choose to raise my arms in victory to all that I accomplish no matter how small.

Took a walk after dinner instead of watching TV.  YES!  Ate one cookie instead of four.  YES!  Put my tennis shoes on and went for a run even though I didn't feel like it.  YES!

In 2010, I did it.  I kept my New Year's Resolution.  I completed my first 5k.  Five years later I have run over 40 5ks.  I lost 50 pounds and have kept it off.  I went from a size 22 pants to a size 14.  I feel GREAT! 

Change is possible.  You CAN do it.  You may have tried a thousand times before and not made it, but that is OK.  Try again.  Try again in 2015.  Make this your year. 

Be purposeful about it.  Pause for five minutes.  Think.  What do you want?  How do you feel right now?  How do you want to feel?  Set a goal.  A specific goal.  Then go for it . . . and make the choice to not give up.

Just Move the Darn Bag!

Sometimes I make things WAY to complicated.  There has to be a plan or a theme or a prize or a chart . . .

There are times when obvious simple solutions are right in front of me and I totally miss them. 

One behavior of mine that I have always struggled to change is my grazing of chips and pretzels.  I often munch when I get home, while I prepare dinner and then throughout the evening.  A couple of chips here.  A pretzel there.  Munch.  Munch.  Munch.

The kitchen is a main thoroughfare in our house.  We need to walk through it to get to the computer, the basement and the dining table.  I'm constantly walking through there.  It's a constant path for the whole family.  I've always kept the bags of chips and pretzels on the counter under the microwave.  Nearly every time I walk through there, I grab a handful of chips or pretzels. 



"It's no big deal,"  I told myself.  "It's only a couple." 

But a couple times seven equals a lot of chips! 

I began to notice that I was not the only one sticking my hands in the bag of chips.  Throughout the evening I would hear the rustling of the bag or I would find the bag sitting on the counter wide open.   Other members of the family were picking up on my bad habit.

How was I going to change this? 

The answer was so easy and obvious!  I simply moved the bag.  For the past two weeks the bag of chips has been in an undisclosed location in our kitchen.

Guess what?  No one appears to have noticed!  No one has asked.  No one has looked around.  They've just accepted the fact that we have no chips.

Guess what else?  I haven't munched either!  There must be truth to the old saying - Out of Sight, Out of Mind.

What an easy solution - I simply moved the darn bag!  

Acknowledge. Manage. Move On. FORGIVE. REPEAT.

A few weeks I ago I was watching one of my favorite TV shows - The Biggest Loser.  Trainer Bob was having a conversation with a contestant and they came up with a phrase that Bob said would inspire others:  Acknowledge.  Manage.  Move On.

ACKNOWLEDGE your bad habit or problem.
Come up with a plan to MANAGE it.
Don't get stuck or focused on the problem - MOVE ON focused on the solution.

At first I was so excited by that phrase.  I thought it was perfect.  I repeated it to myself in my head for several days, especially the last part - MOVE ON. 

MOVE ON Lisa - You're done with emotional eating.  You know what to do.
MOVE ON Lisa - You know better than to cave to the exhaustion of stress.  Get moving.
MOVE ON . . . .

I quickly realized that there were two more words that needed to be added on to Bob's inspiring phrase.  FORGIVE and REPEAT.

Sometimes the call of the chips is so much louder than the call of my running shoes.  Sometimes there is literally nothing more I want to do than crawl in bed and pull the covers over my head.  Sometimes I mess up.  And there is nothing wrong with that.  Messing up is not the time to give up.  Messing up is the time to get up and start again.

I need to FORGIVE myself for taking that little detour and rid myself of the guilt that always comes when I screw up.  Then, I go back to the beginning and REPEAT the whole process.

ACKNOWLEDGE my bad habit or problem or mistake.
Come up with a plan to MANAGE it.
Don't get stuck or focused on the problem - MOVE ON focused on the solution.
FORGIVE myself when I make a mistake.
REPEAT.

Recovering from Our Visit to the Pediatrician's Office

A couple of weeks ago I took my 12 year-old daughter to the pediatrician for her annual check-up.  I have to confess that I have been on a wild emotional roller coaster ever since.  The doctor that we'd seen for years left the practice, so we were assigned a new one.  Our appointment ended with a lecture about my daughter's weight and BMI and how my role as a mother resulted in these numbers.  I left the office in silence, fighting back tears.  That began a tumultuous journey through a variety of emotions.

POOR ME PHASE
First came the POOR ME phase.  What does this doctor expect from me?  Does she not know how hard my life is?  Very few people understand what it's like to be a caregiving spouse to a person with a chronic illness, let alone an invisible one!  I'm not home during the day to monitor or teach my kids what to do and eat.  And I'm tired when I do get home.  I feel so guilty about that!  Plus, I'm an emotional eater.  I ate my way through the first five years of my husband's illness.  So my kids ate through those years, too.  I couldn't help myself.  I can't help myself now - let's all go our for ice cream.  Didn't I buy chips at the grocery store?  Poor me!!  Can't you see how helpless I am doc?!?  Boo Hoo Hoo!



I SUCK AS A MOTHER PHASE
Then came the I SUCK AS A MOTHER phase.  I should be stronger.  I should have more energy.  I should be more encouraging and inspiring so that my children want to be active and healthy.  I should be stricter.  They should fear what will happen to them when I find out that they've eaten the entire box of granola bars in one day.  I should not buy granola bars.  Only horrible moms buy processed fattening granola bars.  I drove to the grocery store where I proceeded to buy one of nearly every single fruit and vegetable in the produce section.  When I got home I threw out every bag of chips, box of crackers and anything else resembling an "unhealthy snack." 



SCREW YOU PHASE
Then I got angry - really, really angry.  SCREW YOU doc!  You don't know me.  You spent all of ten minutes with us.  You don't know our life story.  You don't the positive changes that we've made over the past couple of years.  We're not perfect, but we're trying.  You didn't even spend enough time with us to figure that out.  How dare you put me down in front of my daughter and make me feel like a piece of poo!



JUST RELAX PHASE
Finally, I calmed down and realized that I was on the right path.  My family and I have made great strides in living a healthy lifestyle over the past couple of years.  Are we perfect?  No.  But no one is!  Are we trying our best?  Yes!  Can we do better?  Absolutely!  Is there always more to learn?  You bet!   The key is that we keep moving - aiming to go forward, but not panicking if we stumble back a few steps.  People and situations are going to enter my life that are going to attempt to divert me from my goal by playing with my emotions.  I can choose to let them derail me or jump over them and keep going.  I need to relax and trust in myself that I am on the right path.  What is that verse that has gotten me through to this point of my journey?

 





So doc - I'm a good mother.  Actually, I'm a GREAT mother!  I'm a great mother doing my best to raise two children in this crazy world filled with video games and smart phones and fast food drive-thrus and chronic diseases and . . . . Thanks for the reminder.

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Check out Mom Went Running (Chapter 2) in the newly released book - Inspire!  You can find it at http://www.amazon.com/Inspire-Stories-Accomplishment-Encouragement-Influence/dp/0692233962/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1407207430&sr=8-1&keywords=lisa+hamer+jenkins
 

Hard Core Facts

Obesity is a factor in 1:5 deaths in the United States.

I'm normally a very emotional person and the way to get my attention is through my heart; however, sometimes I need whacked over the head with some hard core facts. 

Obesity can be a direct factor in the following potentially very serious diagnosis: type 2 diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, stroke, some cancers.

 

The good news is that unlike many of the health crisis we face, research has identified three key reasons why we struggle with being overweight.

 

Three key modifiable risk factors to obesity are lack of physical behavior, sedentary behavior and diet.

 

The word MODIFIABLE screams out at me from that sentence.  I remember my doctor telling me that he sees three factors in my life causing my high blood pressure - family history (Can't change that!), stress due to being a caregiving spouse with two young children and a full-time job (Difficult to change that!) and basic lifestyle choices leading to my being overweight (Totally have control over that!).

 

Research shows that staying active and making healthy food choices directly lowers your chances of being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, stroke and some cancers.

 

For me, it is very motivating to know that I have some control in my health.  I want to live a long and active life with my children.  I want to be around to encourage them and annoy them and experience life with them for many many years.  I can't control my family history.  I can't control if I will be hit by a bus.  I CAN control if I eat 2 Oreos or the entire pack in one sitting.  I CAN control if I lay on the couch or go for a walk.  I CAN control if I pack carrots for my lunch or hit the vending machine because I'm craving something crunchy.  I CAN control if my family watches a movie or goes out to play tennis.

 

Healthy choices - it's truly as simple as that!

 

Information from the National Institute of Health website.



Stopping to Smell the Roses . . . or in this case the Teenage Boy Smell

This afternoon I was leaning against a rusty fence standing in the wet grass wearing my dress pants and dress shoes as a heavy wind whipped my hair across my face sending chills through my bones while I watched my son throw shot put for his junior high track team.  Suddenly it hit me . . . I'm standing here watching my son throw shot put for his junior high track team!!!!

Pre-Throw Pep Talk from the Coach.
My son is the kid in the purple sweatshirt.



One of my biggest insecurities in life is that I will not be a good parent.  I want my kids to grow up to love the Lord, have a happy family, enjoy being physically active more than they enjoy laying on the couch and maintain a little bit of silliness.  My prayer is that they work hard while constantly setting goals for themselves and that they are willing to try new things every once in a while.  I worry constantly that they won't see the example I am trying so hard to be for them with my own life.  I am so afraid that my mistakes and wrong choices will out-weigh my good ones in their minds.

JJ making his first throw of the Meet.



I realized today as I stood by that fence that JJ is seeing me.  Up until a few weeks ago he had never thrown shot put.  I don't even know if he had ever thought about the shot put.  He was coming off an incredible basketball season that had lasted over five months.  In the past, he's looked forward to being able to come straight home after school, dive on the couch and pick-up his video game controller.  This year was different.  JJ wanted to continue the daily workouts he was getting with basketball practice.  He wanted to continue to develop the newly visible muscles popping out on his legs and arms.  He wanted to continue hanging out with his friends and not coming home to hang out in his room.  Who cares if he had no idea exactly what he's doing on that field?  JJ wanted to have fun and keep active.  That's what I've been trying to drill into his brain for the past several years.  Somehow . . . even when I didn't realize it or think it was possible . . . he heard me! 



Life moves fast.  I go from work to home to activity to cooking to budgeting to driving to organizing to cleaning to . . . my mind is either buried in my To Do List or clouded with worry about the future. Today I realized that while I am constantly encouraging my children and telling them how proud I am of them, I need to stop and truly be in the moment.  I need to give myself the gift of celebrating the reality that I am a good parent.  My children are seeing the example that I am working so hard to be for them.  As the classic saying goes - I need to stop and smell the roses.  Or in this case the wet grass and teenage boy smell . . . two of the sweetest scents I know!

Digging Deep to Find My Inner Superman

 

I am in the middle of a two week stretch of time where I feel as if there is NO way that I am going to be physically and mentally able to get everything done that needs to be done.  Work is always crazy, but we are in the midst of preparing for one of our state inspections that is happening at the end of next week which is always super stressful.  My daughter's birthday was last week which means over these two weeks we'll be having two extended family celebrations (one requiring a trip out of town), a family celebration on her actual birthday, a friend party, treats for school and overall jolliness on my part.  We have orchestra auditions, basketball tournament play-offs, track practice, two orthodontist appointments which include one child getting braces and PSSAs (Pennsylvania's standardized test) for both kids.  The end of next week culminates with an out-of-town concert and overnight stay with my daughter that was a Christmas gift (back in December this seemed like the perfect idea for the child who didn't have much on her wish list).  On top of all of that, several of my husband's chronic health conditions have chosen this time to flare up which has led to some medication adjustments which never EVER go smoothly as he is very sensitive to medication . . . DEEP BREATH.

I know that you can probably relate to having this high intensity stress at some point in your life.  Your list of stresses is probably a little different from mine, but the feeling is the same.  There is a constant burning sensation of worry in the pit of your stomach.  Your head feels as if it is going to explode.  Restful sleep is a something you hope for but never seem to achieve.  At times you know your blood pressure is sky high because you can hear your heart beating and feel the blood pumping through your veins.  You're irritable.  Your body feels heavy.  You wish you could climb into bed pull the covers over your head and hide until the stressful time passes. 

After barely surviving this first week, I was wondering how in the world I was going to make it through week two.  Even though I often think that I can do it all - the truth is that I am not Superman.  I can't hold the up the weight of the world with my own two hands!

 



Then I remembered something that I had picked up off a Clearance Rack awhile ago simply because it was $4 and I figured I would find a use for it someday.  Someday has arrived.



It's not time to crack under pressure.  It's not time to throw in the towel.  It's not time to curl up in the fetal position and sob uncontrollably.  It's time to dig deep and find my inner Superman.  DC Comics writer J. Michael Straczynski writes, "(Superman) stands for what we believe is the best within us: limitless strength tempered by compassion that can bear adversity and emerge stronger on the other side." 

I wore my Superman shirt all weekend and will wear it to bed every night this week to remind myself to face each day with limitless strength tempered by compassion.  I WILL get through this next week emerging stronger on the other side. 

Don't worry - I haven't completely lost it.  I'm doing more than dressing up in costume to get myself through the week:
1) Frequently reciting Galatians 6:9  "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."
2) Starting each morning with a protein packed smoothie
3) Maintaining my exercise routine
4) Playing Pharrell Williams' song "Happy" whenever I need a quick pick-me-up!

But . . . if you do happen to see something strange flying through the sky, it could be . . . a bird? . . . a plane? . . . It's SUPER MOM!

He stands for what we believe is the best within us: limitless strength tempered by compassion, that can bear adversity and emerge stronger on the other side. He stands for what we all feel we would like to be able to stand for, when standing is hardest.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/j/jmichaels557215.html#oMHbcQe1Dm8ObV4O.99

Did you March Fourth? Now what? (It's ok if you didn't, you still need to read this post!)

Did you March Fourth yesterday and take a healthy step forward?  How did it go?  Hopefully you found it simple and low-stress to add that one healthy goal to your day.

So often, people think that living a healthy lifestyle has to be this dramatic life change.  In my opinion, doing that only sets a majority of the average human beings up for failure.  I'm a mom, wife, daughter, sister, caregiver, boss, employee, volunteer, home owner and more!  I don't have the time, money, energy or even focus to make any kind of major change.  I've attempted it many times and have only been left with feelings of failure, frustration and total inadequacy.    I do have the time, money, energy and focus to make one small change, try one new thing or make one thought-filled healthy decision today and be really good at it.  That leaves me feeling successful, accomplished and like Super Woman!

I shifted to this mind-frame of taking small steps four years ago.  I slowly lost 50 pounds and have kept it off.  My blood pressure and cholesterol lowered and they are still down.  I felt better and had more energy and I still do.  Last week my son asked if he could run track this Spring.  Last night my daughter asked me if doing 100 jumping jacks would count toward our Family Fitness Challenge.  Life is not all rainbows and ponies and I still have bad days . . . but overall my physical, mental and emotional health is so much better!

Back to March Fourth . . . So you took that one small healthy step forward.  You drank water, ate fruit, did jumping jacks or gave out some random high-fives.  Now what?  The answer is so simple.

DO IT AGAIN TODAY.

 

If you didn't March Fourth yesterday and now wish that you had, no regrets!  It's ok.  You just go on and March Fifth today.  March Fifth . . . Move Forward . . . Get Going . . . Go!

 

TIME



As I was watching The Biggest Loser's Makeover episode last night (still love that show!), there was one topic that the contestants brought up over and over and over again in their individual interviews  - TIME for themselves.  Everyone talked about how grateful they were to have the opportunity to take these past four months and spend TIME working on themselves.  Unlike the contestants on The Biggest Loser, I've never had four months that I could set aside to focus solely on myself - and I most likely never will. 

TIME is one of the things that I've always struggled with in life.  How do I get everything done that needs to be done in my life and still find TIME to take care of me?  My attitude used to be - I don't have TIME to take care of myself because my family and my job comes first.  They have to come before me.  I'm the one juggling all of the balls in the air.  If I drop one everything will fall a part.

While wrestling with TIME is still a struggle that rears it's ugly head, I began to understand TIME several years ago.  The problem isn't that I don't have TIME, the problem is the choices I make with the TIME I have.

I realized that I don't need big chunks of TIME to make life changes and do "healthy things." I could make several small changes that don't take much TIME at all.  The good news is that I have the power of choice over my TIME and by focusing on making small changes it was easier to be successful in making positive choices and maintaining changes.



During these past four years of working toward living a healthier lifestyle, some of the changes that needed to be made were very obvious like not drinking multiple cans of pop a day.  I can't imagine how much TIME I've saved by no longer spending part of my afternoon digging around my purse, my desk and even my car looking for one more quarter for the vending machine at work!  Now I drink water all the time.  I've found that the extremely cold ice water hitting my throat wakes me up much faster than a sugary dose of caffeine! 

Other changes have been fun like torturing my children by seeing how far away I can park from the entrance of Target.  I actually save TIME by not driving up and down every row multiple times hoping that a parking space right next to the door will magically open up!  Some changes took some TIME to get used to like learning how to shake off Mom Guilt when my daughter stood by the door and cried as I dashed to my car for my weekly Zumba class.  What she didn't understand was that she was actually gaining TIME with me because rather than collapsing on the couch and falling asleep while she watched TV, I returned home wide awake ready to read a book or play a game.

Change doesn't happen over night.  For me, living a healthy lifestyle has been a journey . . . four years and counting!  No matter how many times I begged God to add a couple of extra hours to my day so that I could get everything done, the number of hours in a day never changed. What has changed is what I am doing with those twenty-four hours.  I've learned that I can choose to sit on the couch and doze off or I can ask my daughter to go for a walk.  I can choose to pick up that 24-pack of pop at the grocery store or I can fill up my cup with ice water.  I can choose to eat four pieces of pizza and spend my evening in the bathroom or I can eat two and have a tomato cucumber salad on the side and be ready to roll for some family TIME. 

I am happy for The Biggest Loser contestants and the TIME that they got to spend focusing on themselves.  I have the same amount of TIME.  Mine is just spread out!  The choice of how I spend that TIME is up to me.  I just need to make those choices count!

  

Setting an Achievable Resolution - Step Two

In 2010 I beat the odds and actually kept my New Year's Resolution to live a healthier life.  Earlier this week I shared with you that I did three simple things to make my Resolution a reality.  Step one was to take my "big picture" resolution and break it down into a series of small goals.  Setting small goals allowed me to celebrate victories often which helped to push me forward toward success.

Step Two: Accept the fact that I am going to MESS UP.

My life is not perfect.  I am far from perfect.  So why should I ever think that getting myself from point A to point B should play out perfectly?  Back in 2010 I did.

All or Nothing Thinking.  If I make a single mistake or if things aren't going exactly as I planned then let's just scrap the whole idea.  I messed up.  The whole thing is ruined.  It's over.  That's a very unhealthy frame of mind because no one is perfect.   

When I was training for that first 5k, I kept missing Tuesdays.  My kids would have a lot of homework.  I'd have to work late.  There would be a basketball game or soccer practice.  For whatever reason, Tuesdays were always rough.  After a couple of weeks of missing the Tuesday workouts, I was talking to my mom and told her that I was giving up on the 5k.  I couldn't complete the training.  I remember her asking me what was so special about the training on Tuesdays.  When I thought about it, there really wasn't anything special about Tuesdays.  It was just a regular run.  Then she asked me if the training schedule had a rest day.  It did - Sundays.  She suggested that I simply adjust the training schedule to work for me and make Tuesdays my rest day.  What a brilliant idea! 

"Messing up" isn't an opportunity to "give up."  Rather it's an opportunity to look at WHY you stumbled and make an adjustment to prevent it from happening again.  Or, it could simply be a time when you say "Oooooops!" and move on. 

Even now, four years later, I still have lots of "Oooooops" moments.  Finding myself sitting on the couch devouring a bag of chips after a stressful day rather than putting a handful in a small bowl.  Letting several days pass without lacing up my running shoes.  Yes, I always feel bad when I let those things happen, but I use those times to push me to "get up" and get back on track.

Remember - Messing Up does not mean Giving Up.  Messing Up means Getting Up and starting again. 

2014 is almost here.  I have one more tip for you to help you set and Achievable Resolution . . . check back tomorrow!

A Lesson on Compromise

This past Saturday, a rare event happened - my mom, sister and I all had several hours of free time at the same time.  We love doing things together, but it's hard to find a time that works for each of us.  This was our chance! 

My sister wanted to do something that involved her children.  My mom wanted to do something to kick-off her holiday season.  There are few options for 5ks in December, so I wanted everyone to join me at the Arthritis Foundation's Jingle Bell Run.  We ALL wanted to be together.  So . . .

The Hamer Women with the Jingle Bell Elf

Compromise was the key.  My sister brought one of her children (Our little guy was too cold at the Turkey Trot so we knew he would not be happy!).  My mom threw on several extra layers (If you look at the picture her coat is not zipped because she literally can't get the zipper together!).  I still completed my 5k for the month of December, but I walked it rather than ran (Remember, my goal is to COMPLETE a 5k a month, not RUN a 5k a month!).  My daughter came along, too, making it a special outing for only the Hamer women - no men allowed on this adventure!

I have to confess that there was a small piece of me that wasn't too keen on this idea at first.  Obviously, family is more important that anything else.  Yet, I kept thinking about the time clock and how by walking the event my time would stick out among all of my other 5k times.  It would be so slow in comparison. 

"Really Lisa???  Who is looking at your times and comparing them?  No one but you," I could picture that smaller version of me standing on my shoulder with her arms crossed, rolling her eyes and talking in an annoyed tone. 

"Excellent point," I told myself.  "Let's move on!"  And I did . . .

. . . And we had an EXCELLENT morning at the Jingle Bell Run! 

I think that too often adults are not willing to compromise.  That's what leads to so many family feuds.  In this situation it did take us several days of text messages and phone calls, but when our wise mother reminded us that our initial plan was to spend time together it made the decision an easy one.  By putting our individual agendas aside and putting our hearts together, we ended up having an incredible day TOGETHER.

OK, OK, OK . . . I have to confess that I still set a goal for that stupid time clock!  I wanted us to complete the event in under one hour.  Our time . . . 59:11!!!  Woo-Hoo!!

A bonus for me - I got an unexpected gift.  I felt great joy and pride as I crossed the finish line with my mom as she completed her second 5k.  She exercises on a regular basis, but 3.1 miles is farther than her normal distance.  Our mom is one of our best cheerleaders on our journey to be healthy and incorporate exercise into busy family life.  What an example to my sister and I (and our daughters!) on supporting someone's dreams and goals by literally jumping into their adventure - I LOVE it!  A high-five to Ellie and Arden who also completed their second 5ks on Saturday. 

A lesson for all of us - As you make plans with your family and friends, plan with your heart.  Compromise can lead to great memories made TOGETHER rather than getting angry and spending time apart.

Ellie and My Mom

 



These two are just TOO CUTE together!!!