Plan Some Positive Anticipation

This week we enter what I consider to be the hardest period of the Holiday Blues – the Post-Holiday Blues.  Schedules go back to normal.  There’s nothing special on the calendar.  The weather is cold and dreary.  The sun is in a deep hibernation (at least here in Pittsburgh!).  Your holiday decorations have been put away or they’re still up because you don’t have the energy to take them down.  You feel bloated and lethargic after eating all of the holiday leftovers over the weekend.  Your Family, friends and clients seem a bit more needy because they too are feeling the post-holiday blues.  And to top it off you are in an office with little human contact or working from home with the people you’ve just spent the past two weeks (or ten months) with and even though you love them dearly you could really use a break.  (Just typing this is making me feel more blah!)

What might help is some Positive Anticipation.  Something to look forward to.  Something new!  Something exciting!

But we are still facing a global pandemic so what is that something new and exciting supposed to look like?  After accepting the fact that “new and exciting” in 2021 is not going to look that same as it has in the past, try this . . . .

1) Select one of the ideas listed below (or come up with your own idea!)

2) Pick a date that is one to two weeks away to do the selected activity

3) Write or Enter the activity on your calendar

4) Write the date and activity on a postee and place it somewhere where you will see it on a daily basis to remind yourself that you have this new and fun activity to anticipate.

• Try a new recipe - Check out Pinterest or google OR dig out your grandma’s old cookbook and try a classic!
• Buy a new boardgame to play with your family (or swap games with a friend)
• Schedule a day to go on a hike on a trail you’ve never tried before Don’t worry about the weather – bundle up!
• Order take out from a restaurant you’ve never eaten at before
• Read a book - When is the last time you shut off your electronics and got lost in a good mystery or a saucy romance?
• Pick a new TV show or movie to watch.  If you think you’ve watched them all over the past ten months, check out a classic!
• Organize a Minute to Win it game night for your family.  Check out this link to some winter-themed games using materials that you may have at home or that you can find at the dollar store: Winter Minute to Win It - Primary Playground
• Invite your family or friends to a Virtual Game Night or Happy Hour.  Follow this link to some game ideas to play virtually many of which are FREE: How to Play Hilarious Group Games Virtually - Money Fit Moms

Planning an activity or event for the near future will take a little bit of time, doesn’t have to require a lot of money and will replace some of your Post-Holiday Blues with some positive anticipation.

But if we learn to think of it as anticipation, as learning, as growing, if we think of the time we spend waiting for the big things of life as an opportunity instead of a passing of time, what wonderful horizons open out!

Anna Neagle

Picture Sources: www.lynhicks.com, cs.ox.ac.uk

Silence Negative Self-Talk by Phoning a Friend

For many of us these next few days are going to be difficult with changed holiday plans and missing family and friends.  When we are feeling down in the dumps it’s easy for our self-talk to guide us down a deep dark hole.  You don’t have to listen to that.  Interrupt that voice.  End that conversation by starting a new one – phone a friend!

1. Call the person who is always in your corner . . . your head cheerleader . . . that person who believes in you 100%!  Tell them you need a holiday pep talk and let them work their magic. 

2. Call someone you think would benefit from hearing a friendly voice on the other end of the line. Doing something for someone else will not only make that person happy but will re-focus your heart and put a smile back on your face.  

Don't let negative self-talk bring you down.  Take control by reaching out and talking with a friend.

Photo found on Pinterest

The Homestretch of 2020

“Be so proud of yourself for how you’ve handled this year.  I don’t know about you, but I fought so many silent battles.  I had to humble myself, wipe my own tears and pat myself on the back.  I’m sure you had to do the same.  Be proud of you.”   ~ Author Priscilla A. Ransom ~

We are entering the home stretch of 2020.  However, the home stretch is normally filled with family, friends, celebrations and many memory-making moments. 

For many of us this may be the hardest two weeks of the entire year.  The separation and isolation from family and friends will feel heavier than ever.  But you know what?  You have made it this far.  Holding tight to that fact, you can continue to move forward through these next two weeks.

To help propel you through this time, take a moment to make two lists and post them somewhere where you will see them on a daily basis to provide a visual reminder of your strength, of the good around you and of hope for the future.

1) Reflect on your victories of 2020.  What were your happiest moments? What were the moments that had you laughing until you cried?  What is something that you did that you would have never dreamed you would do?  What are the moments that you are going to cherish forever?  Write them down!

2) Count your blessings.  Take a moment and make a list of all the things that you have to be thankful for in your life.  Focusing on the good can help the bad not seem so bad.

Be proud of yourself for how you have handled 2020 and know that you have the strength and the perseverance to get through these final two weeks of this crazy year.

Picture credit: www.pinterest.com, www.wisemovement.blogspot.com

Feel all the Feels

Are you feeling a sense of pressure to maintain a happy demeanor?   You don’t want your kids, your parents or your patients to be sad, worried or upset about how COVID is impacting our lives and the holidays.  You take a deep breath, plaster a smile on your face and push forward. 

People sometimes try to hide their true emotions.  They take their feelings and stuff them deep down in their gut in an effort to ignore them.  In an attempt to make them go away some people may drink, eat, spend or sleep too much.  Or they find that they begin to lose the ability to keep that happy smiling mask on.  Plans to remain happy and positive are thwarted by grouchiness and snippy comments that they just can’t seem to control anymore.

My friend and co-worker Amy Hammond, PCSW, shared with our staff earlier this week about our emotions.  She said, “Name It- Stating our feelings out loud means they are real. When you name it, you feel it.”  If you are one who has stuffed your emotions, I encourage you to take that a step further and release those feelings. 

As a stuffer, I call it “Throwing Myself a Time Limited Pity Party.”  I’ll tell myself that for the next 15 minutes (30 minutes, evening – whatever time I need or have) I’m going to let myself be sad (or angry or upset – you get the idea).  Then I do one or more of the following:

Ø  * Have a good cry.

Ø  * Lay in bed and literally pull the covers over my head.

Ø  * Play music real loud and scream or sing at the top of my lungs. 

Ø  * Write my frustrations or worries down on a piece of paper.  Take that paper and crumble it into a ball and hurl it toward the garbage can or toss it in the fire watching my frustrations and worries go up in smoke.

Ø  * Stand up and march in place lifting my knees high and stomping my feet back to ground.  Or jump and dance around (very much like Kevin Bacon in the movie Footloose - you know what scene I'm talking about!).

Ø  * Call a friend and let her know that I need a no-holding-back-venting session. 

Heading into the weekend, take a moment and do an emotional inventory.  Are their emotions that you are not recognizing because you feel the need to be the one who always has a happy face?  If you find them tucked deep within, take some time and let them out.  Give yourself permission to feel all the feels.  Once your emotions are out in the open, your smile will be ready to return to its proper place and continue to spread comfort and joy to those you see.

picture credit: www.sacmag.com; www.pinterest.com 

Check Out Your Neighborhood's Holiday Lights on Foot

Is your neighborhood as lit up as mine with twinkling lights, blow-ups dancing in the breeze and spotlights showing off garland and bows?  Looking at the forecast, this is going to be a great weekend to bundle up, fill a travel mug with steaming hot cocoa and head out one evening to look at the lights . . . on foot.  That’s right.  I said on foot.  Skip the traditional car ride around the neighborhood and take a walk by yourself or with your family.  There are so many benefits to this activity – physical exercise, fresh air, a moment to slow down time as your stroll through your neighborhood, time to connect with your family away from technology, feelings of joy as you soak in the holiday spirit and an opportunity to see your world from a new perspective.  

Beautiful lights shining through the snow.

I have to confess that I have absolutely no research to back-up any of those benefits – just personal experience of a favorite holiday tradition I introduced my family to a couple of years ago.  However, research on perspective tells us that purposefully looking at a situation from a different angle boosts creativity, increases curiosity and builds community.  All skills that will benefit us personally and professionally during this time when the holiday blues and stress related to COVID are impacting a majority of people. 

A nighttime walk through your neighborhood is fun on its own.  But you could also change things up a bit to add to the fun.  You can turn your walk it into a scavenger hunt by putting a list together of things for your family to look for - blow-up Santa, red lights, wreath on door, lit up tree in window, reindeer on roof.  Your family could vote on who has the best decorations in your neighborhood.  Before you head out the door, young kids could make a poster or ribbon to post on the winners door.  You could bake cookies to drop off for the winner as their prize.  There are so many ways to turn this simple walk into a winter adventure!  

Regardless of what direction you take this idea, I encourage you to pause and enjoy the moment.  Taking a quiet evening stroll by yourself or leading your family on a nighttime escapade will help you to relax and soak in some holiday joy.
 

A few safety tips for nighttime walks:

Wear reflective gear

Carry a flashlight (but don’t aim it directly as passing vehicles)

Walk facing traffic

Walk with young children next to the curb placing yourself between them and traffic

Take a mask (in case you have the chance to stop and share a socially distanced conversation with a neighbor)