Either I Can or I Can't

One week from right now, I should be a little over halfway through the course of the Pittsburgh Half-Marathon.  WOW!  I am so incredibly excited.  I cannot wait, yet at the same time I hope this week drags a little bit because I want to savor this feeling of eager anticipation. 

Yesterday morning I caught a few minutes of a news segment about people who have had near-death experiences.  One woman who survived malfunctioning equipment during a deep sea diving expedition shared a favorite saying of her husband:

Believe that you can or believe that you can't.

Either way, you're right.

 

There is so much truth in that saying.  As I have trained for next week's adventure, I have found that around miles 3 and 8 I have a little bit of a mental crisis - "You're crazy!  What were you thinking?  You can't do this.  Seriously Lisa?  You're going to make it 13.1 miles?  I don't think so."  It's during those moments that I consider stopping.  That brings me back to that moment of choice when I have to dig deep and push myself to keep going or walk off the course.  That moment of choice when I have to believe that I can or believe that I can't.

 

For me setting the goal of completing this Half-Marathon and training to accomplish that goal has meant so much more than simply lacing up my running shoes and striving to cross the finish line.  Pushing myself through those personal battles at miles 3 and 8 has made me more aware of those times in my everyday life - EVERYDAY life - when I must choose to push through a tough moment.  That has helped me to continue to BELIEVE THAT I CAN, even on the days that I want to lean towards I CAN'T.

 

Of course, I also aim to not lose sight of the One who initially got me started on this running journey three years ago and will carry me through the course to the finish line:

 

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if

WE DO NOT GIVE UP." 

Galatians 6:9

 





A Different Kind of Exercise for My Heart

I did something tonight that I have not done in a LONG time.  I made dinner for another family.  I even made them dessert!  Most nights I can barely get dinner on the table for my family - I served them half-frozen french fries last week when I made a quick stop at home to prepare dinner between picking Ellie up from her after-school running program and heading off to exercise. 

Today was a bad day.  Work was stressful.  Home was super stressful.  As a result I'm incredibly tired and feel like my legs weigh a hundred pounds each.  After getting home from my daughter's music lessons and making an easy dinner, I realized that I would never make it my Zumba class on time (I'm constantly walking in in the middle of the first song, but I would have been REALLY late tonight!).  The thought of going for a quick run briefly crossed my mind, but the rain made it too easy to not take action on that idea.  Instead I put my pj's on, crawled into bed, pulled the covers up to my nose and closed my eyes.  At 7:15PM I was tucked in bed ready to fall asleep. 

I dozed off for a few minutes and then woke with the memory that I had told my friend that I would bring her dinner tomorrow. 

"I'll just swing through KFC and pick-up a family meal,"  I thought.

"Better yet, I'll just give her the money so that she can swing through KFC and pick-up a family meal," was my next thought.  After all, my purpose in providing dinner was to give her a night off from cooking.  The drive-thru is considered a night off, right?

Then I pictured myself sitting on the curb this afternoon listening and crying with my friend as she shared with me what was going in her life.  I've said in the past that my stress is my stress - what stresses me out may not stress you out which is OK.  But I have to say that just listening to her story increased my stress level. 

Another friend who was sitting with us said, "What has happened to our society.  It used to be that when someone was struggling like this everyone would rally around and help."  After a long pause she continued, "I guess that's church.  This is work."

Her last statement really impacted me.  Should it matter if it's work versus church?  If I was in church I'd be offering to take the family a meal.  Organizing others to do the same.  Collecting helpful items.  I'd be jumping into action.  So why, in this moment, was I just sitting on the curb doing nothing? 

I turned to my friend and told her I would be providing dinner for her family tomorrow night.

Fast forward a few hours to me tucked comfortably in bed at 7:15PM.  Money for KFC would not work.  I was going to make them a meal. 

I dragged myself out of bed and into the kitchen to begin rummaging through the cupboards and freezer.  As I took stock of what I had on hand I began to get excited as different meal ideas came to mind.  Knowing there are young kids in the house, I decided on a Mac-n-Cheese Pizza Casserole.  Once that was prepared, my mind went to dessert.  Of course they would need dessert! 

As I type my kitchen is filled with the sweet scent of Devil's Food Cake Cookies . . . YUM!  I feel energized.  I'm looking forward to sharing these dishes with my friend's family tomorrow.  There is a smile on my face.  The stress from my bad day has disappeared.

So I'm not going to feel guilty about not getting any exercise in today.  While I didn't do any cardio, I definitely exercised my heart.

My Definition of Winning

I recently had a conversation with my sister Meg and our Dad.  It was the night before we ran Just a Short Run where Meg ran the Half-Marathon and I ran the 8.1 mile.  Our Dad was sharing with us how proud he is of us for the hard work we have put in to accomplishing our running goals.  I made the comment, "There are people who have run much farther or have accomplished far greater things than running 8 miles."  I love my Dad's response to my statement - so much so that I wrote it down and posted it on where I can see it everyday.

THE DEFINITION OF WINNING IS DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE.

YOU ARE A WINNER.



My dad is right.  It is easy to slip into a place where I am comparing myself to others.  She runs faster than me.  She's skinnier than me.  He's accomplished more than me.  From that angle, it's easy to feel defeated.  Instead, I need to keep my mind in a place where I am comparing myself to me . . . comparing myself to where I have been and to where I want to go. 

At this moment in my life I am focused on completing a Half Marathon.  That is where I am going.  That will be my victory.  Where am I coming from?  I'm coming from that day 3 years ago when I couldn't run from my mailbox to my neighbor's mailbox without thinking my lungs were going to explode.  I'm coming from a pair of size 22 blue jeans.  I'm coming from spending most nights sitting on the couch with a bag of chips in my lap.  From that angle, it's easy to feel excited and proud.

My moment of victory is just two weeks away.  For me, crossing that Half-Marathon finish line will make me a winner.  It feels good to know that in my Dad's eyes I already am one!

My Dad with my daughter Ellie.

Meg and I after finishing Just a Short Run.

 

 



A Fun, Simple & Very Effective Workout Idea for your Family

Last Saturday I was out on an early morning run and came across a Mom being followed by two elementary aged kids.  The kids were obviously not too happy to be out - heads hung low, scowls on their faces and dragging ten paces behind their mom.  The Mom was talking away, "You will NOT spend the entire day glued to the TV.  You WILL spend some time outside.  You WILL run around and play.  And you WILL stop complaining about it!"  I couldn't help myself.  I circled back around and as I ran past the family again I gave the Mom a Hi-Five cheering her on with a loud "You go Mom!" 

It was such a relief to know that I am not the only parent who struggles with getting her kids out of the house and in to the yard!  Every evening after dinner I'm encouraging and pleading and yelling to get them outside.  I must confess that at times I do enjoy the challenge of coming up with creative places to go and creative things for us to do.  

I entitled my most recent successful attempt Playing with the Queen of Hearts.  All you need is a deck of cards and six different stationary exercises (or however many you want to include!). 

Using sidewalk chalk, I set-up six Exercise Stations - jumping jacks, squats, ab twists while holding a basketball, bicep curls holding bocce balls, jump rope and toe taps using a soccer ball- in a circle in my driveway.  I placed the deck of cards in the middle of the circle.  Everyone picked a different station to start at.  We took turns picking a card.  Whatever number was drawn was the number of times you had to do the exercise.  Face cards were 10 repetitions.  Aces were 11 repetitions.  We counted out loud and did the reps together.  Once done, everyone moved clockwise one station and another card was drawn.  (I had removed the jokers, but my friend Dana shared the idea with me that if the Joker is drawn than you must do twice the number of reps of the next card.)

Trust me - my kids weren't jumping at the chance to try this, but once we got started we all had a GREAT time.  Lots of laughter.  Lots of moans when someone drew an Ace.  Lots of sweat! 

Playing with the Queen of Hearts was fun, easy to set-up and cost me absolutely nothing.  SUCCESS!!  I love the fact that we can pick different exercises and have the activity be different every time.  This is one activity that won't get old.

Who knew a card game could include so much sweat!?!  And the best part - everyone WON! 

Finding My Self-Control

Yesterday was the first day of Spring Break for my husband and kids.  I came home from work to find an empty bag of Snickers Minis on my kitchen table.  Seriously?!?  The entire bag?  In one day?

My first reaction was to be angry.  Guess who is eating straight lettuce with no dressing for dinner tonight?  Guess who is heading to the gym immediately after eating that pile of lettuce and doing burpees till their legs explode?  Guess who isn't getting a single piece of chocolate in their Easter Baskets?  Don't try to hide in your rooms . . . you know who you are!

Then my mind went back to a time several years ago when I would have eaten the entire bag of Snickers Minis . . . all by myself . . . in one day.  The one big difference is that I would have hidden the bag.  I was a pro at gorging myself with sweets or salty snacks or fast food stops and then getting rid of the evidence before anyone saw it.  I had zero self-control.  There was no guilt or shame. I felt a sick kind of pride that I got away with it and nobody knew my little secret.

If I wanted an Oreo, I couldn't eat just one.  I'd literally eat an entire row and then the entire package.  If I was at a party and there was a tray of scrumptious appetizers, I would pop one in my mouth and then have another and another and another.  After awhile I became completely numb to the harm I was doing to my body. 

When I reached the point in my life when I wanted to start making healthy choices, I knew that my lack of self-control was one of the biggest hurdles I would have to overcome.  After much trial and error, I discovered three tools that work for me:

1) EXAMINE why I'm eating.  Am I eating because I am stressed out?  I've learned that there are much better ways to handle stress than shoving chips down my throat!  Am I eating because I didn't have time for lunch at work and while I'm cooking dinner there is a brand-new box of crackers sitting on the counter?  I should put a handful of crackers in a small bowl so I know how many I'm eating.  And while I'm waiting for dinner to cook I'll pack my lunch for tomorrow and include small healthy portions I can eat on the run.  Am I eating because the food tastes so good and I simply want more?  I need to slow down and enjoy it.

2) ENJOY the treat.  Sometimes I don't pay attention and I'm truly inhaling the food.  How easy is it to pop a mini Snickers in your mouth and swallow after a single chew or two?  Your taste buds have barely had time to register the fact that there is food in your mouth!  Stop for a moment and focus on what is in your mouth.  How does it taste?  Sweet?  Sour?  Salty?  How does it feel?  Smooth?  Nutty?  Hot?  Cold?  I find that when I pause and enjoy the food I'm eating, I'm likely to eat less yet feel more satisfied - both physically and mentally!

3) ESCAPE - When all else fails, run away.  Just the other day I bought a bag of jelly beans.  What was I thinking?  I can mindlessly eat an entire bag of jelly beans in one car ride home from work.  It only took me a second to recognize that I was going to have no self-control in this situation.  So I enjoyed a few handfuls and then threw the bag away.  When I am at a party, I stay as far away from the food table as possible.  If we're having dessert and I'm too tempted to have more, I leave the room. 

I didn't master these tools overnight.  It took time and practice for me to learn what worked for me and how to use them.  Just like me, my family will need time and practice to learn how to master self-control.  They also will need a teacher.  I guess that is me!  And since I'm off from work today, class starts now!

Predicting a Victory in My Dodgeball-Themed Life!

Every Saturday morning I sit down and make a chart for my family.  It tells us who is going where and when, any tests or projects for school, what day everyone has gym class, my husband's doctor's appointments, what we're having for dinner each night and my exercise schedule - basically our entire life summarized on an 8-1/2x11 piece of paper.  Every Saturday morning as I hang that chart in our kitchen I expect that our week will follow the schedule that I have put together. 

More often than not, the days and hours are very compliant with following my schedule.  Then out of the blue I'll be thrown a curveball.  I've gotten pretty good at dodging those curveballs - switching up a meal here and there, asking my parents to pick up a kid, throwing JJ's gym clothes in the wash at 11PM - I can be flexible!

Then last week happened.  Curveballs were flying!  A home improvement project that took two days instead of one.  A pulled muscle that required an evening on the couch.  An afternoon and evening in the ER after Jamison got rear-ended.  A late-night trip to my parents to use their printer for JJ's research paper.  I felt like I was playing a fierce game of Dodgeball! 


Even with all of the curveballs, nearly everything on my weekly chart got accomplished.  Except one . . . my exercise!  Four days of training for the half-marathon down the drain.  The question that pops into my mind is the question that most moms ask themselves at least once a week - "Why is it my plans are always the ones to be cancelled, changed or ignored?"  I know the answer.  Because I'm the mom!

As I sit at my computer this morning preparing my chart for the upcoming week, I catch myself teetering on the edge of a dangerous cliff.  The cliff of an old habit that I have desperately fought to break over the past three years.  The cliff of giving up.  My negative self-talk tapes are playing at full volume.  "You gave it a good shot Lisa, but you blew it.  You didn't meet your training goal for this week.  What were you thinking?  You - complete a half-marathon?  Ha! Ha!  You are too tired.  You don't have a good enough handle on your life to fit in anything else, especially exercising.  You are destined to be chubby and super-stressed for the rest of your life.  You need to take care of everyone else first.  You come last."

As I listen I notice that that voice starts to sound garbled and warped - just like my Culture Club Colour by Number's tape after listening to Karma Chameleon over and over again while dancing and singing in front of my bedroom mirror back in fifth grade.  I was so mad when that cassette tape snapped!  (Sorry - I'll blame that thought on lack of sleep after my daughter's sleepover birthday party last night!) 

That garbled and warped voice begins to be replaced by a strong voice reciting inspiring and encouraging quotes that I have collected throughout the years.

It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.  Epictetus

Be miserable or motivated.  Whatever happens it's always your choice.  Wayne Dyer

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up.  The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.  Thomas Edison

With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.  Eleanor Roosevelt

Finally, I am reminded of the scripture verse God gave me back in January of 2010 when I started my journey of running and trying to live a health lifestyle: Do not grow weary of doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galations 6:9

God pointed out to me then as He has reminded me this morning - You HAVE to take care of yourself.  It will be difficult and choices will need to be made to put yourself first, but do not grow weary.  I have experienced some of the harvest - weight lost, cholesterol lowered, races completed, kids who ask to go to the gym.  I have tasted victory.

So - I've made the choice to not give up.  With a new day, a new strength and a new weekly chart in front of me, I am motivated to continue doing good for myself and in turn doing good for my family.  I am predicting a victory for this next week of my Dodgeball-themed life!

The Moment of Choice

I'm sitting here after a long draining day and I want nothing more than to crawl into bed, shut out the world and sink into a deep sleep.  But this hasn't been a very healthy day.  I didn't make very wise food choices.  I didn't drink enough water.  And I've had ZERO physical activity.  I should really change into my workout clothes and go to the gym.  But it is snowing outside, which means that it's cold outside.  BBbbrrrrr!  I hate being cold.  That's not a good excuse.  I'll warm up soon enough.  I should really change into my workout clothes and go to the gym.  But I feel like I haven't spent much time with my kids today.  Maybe we should play a board game or something.  But it's getting close to when they should be in bed and neither have showered yet.  I could go to the gym for a quick workout while they are showering and packing up for tomorrow.  So I should really change into my workout clothes and go to the gym.  But I'm really tired . . .

This is the discussion I have with myself nearly everyday.  The easy decision would be to stay put and not get ready for the gym.  I could sit on the couch and argue with myself all evening long.  Eventually that internal discussion will quiet down and I won't even be thinking about exercising.  It takes more mental and physical energy to drag myself off the couch, change and workout than to stay put.

However, the funny thing is that the minute I step out the front door and am greeted by a rush of fresh air, I feel invigorated and so excited to get to the gym or my Zumba class or to start my run around the block.  If that's the case, why am I even wasting my time debating the choice to workout or not? 

The good news is that I am making a good decision more often than not when faced with that moment of choice.  That wasn't always the case.  It's taken time for working out to become a healthy habit.

To workout or not to workout . . . that is the question.  Today my answer is to workout!  What's yours?