And then it hit me . . . I'll be driving right past Meadows Custard! And I heard their Pumpkin Custard was to die for! That's when the battle started.
Oh my gosh Lisa. You HAVE to stop for some Pumpkin Custard!
But I've been doing so well in making healthy choices with my eating.
All the more reason to reward yourself with a treat. You can get a small - that's a wiser choice than a large!
But we've been trying to save money and this would be a frivolous expense.
Like I said, Lisa . . . get a small. That's not that much money.
I don't have any cash and to put such a small amount of money on the debit card seems ridiculous.
Who cares! It's Pumpkin Custard. PUMPKIN!
What about JJ and Ellie? I'll feel guilty getting custard without them.
You work very hard Lisa. You deserve a treat. Plus, they won't even know about it.
Ohhhhhh . . . nope, the calories. I'm not going to splurge. Not going to do it.
You deserve it Lisa! You work SO hard. Treat yourself. Indulge. It will taste SO good!
Maybe I should. Nope - the money. Silly expense.
Hey - you could get cash back when you buy the DVD. Then you will have cash and Meadows Custard won't show up on your statement.
BRILLIANT!! I'll get cash back and give myself a delicious treat! I deserve it! But, the kids.
No one will know . . . ever! Go for it!
Decision made. I was going to Target, buying the movie, getting cash back and stopping for PUMPKIN CUSTARD!!! YAY!!!
I was so excited the rest of the day. All I could think about was how smooth and rich and amazing that Pumpkin Custard was going to taste. mmmmmmmmm . . .
After work I drove to Target. Grabbing the DVD from the display case right by the door I practically skipped to the checkout. Pumpkin Custard! Pumpkin Custard! Pumpkin Custard! The words chanted in my brain as my cheeks tingled with the anticipation of my secret yummy treat.
I swiped my debit card and the machine beeped. I looked at the cashier with a puzzled expression.
"Oh, you have one of the new cards with a chip. You need to slide it in here," she showed me a new slot in the front of the machine.
I slid in my card. Suddenly the words "Thank you for shopping at Target!" flashed on the screen and my receipt printed from the register.
"Wait!" I said with a slight tone of panic. "I was going to get cash back."
"Oh, sorry. With these new cards you can't get cash back."
"But, I was going to treat myself to Pumpkin Custard!" I exclaimed.
"Sorry Ma'am," she said as she started to scan the next customers items.
I stood there staring at her for a few seconds with my mouth open shocked that my plan to sneak off and get myself a special treat had just completely fallen apart (and slightly stinging from her use of the word ma'am). The woman behind me in line gently pushed her cart forward in an attempt to move me along. My gaze shifted to her.
"I can't get cash back. I was going to get custard," I stammered. She smiled a sympathetic smile.
Turning, I walked out of Target. That hadn't gone as planned!
Sitting in my car, I started to laugh. I had just spent the entire day contriving this whole plan to sneak off and secretly buy myself a custard cone. And than it completely falls apart. That is hysterical!
Two of the many things I've learned about myself over the past five years are
1) I use food for comfort and reward. That's ok some of the time, but I would often take it to an unhealthy extreme.
2) The Mom Guilt Monster THRIVES on me. I used to be one of it's favorite prey.
My inner conversation turned to God - All right Lord, I see where you are going with this. That plan would have thrown me directly into the fire of two struggles I've worked the hardest to overcome. Thank you for rescuing me from myself! I concede - no Pumpkin Custard for me! But please let this be a situation where you're not saying no you're simply saying not now. Please?!?
That was the case. Two days later the kids and I were out running errands and drove past Dairy Queen. Their sign advertised that Pumpkin Pie Blizzards were back. I LOVE Pumpkin Pie Blizzards! I turned right into the parking lot and my kids cheered. Mini pumpkin pie blizzards all around (That's a wise choice. A few years ago I would have ordered us all larges!). The Blizzards tasted fantastic and the company was super fun . . . so much better than speed eating a cone in secret before I got home and then feeling guilty all night.
Healthy choice - check!
Having fun with my family - check!
Being an example for my kids - check!
Thanks God for saying no to that Pumpkin Custard!
|Mom Went Running|