Lessons from Campus: Learn from and Laugh at your Mistakes

Our son has been at college now for 7 days.  It has been so fun to hear him talk about all of the firsts that come with starting college - first meal in the cafeteria, first dorm meeting, first class, first ping pong tournament with the guys in his dorm pod.  Some of those firsts that he has shared with us have been the first mistakes and embarrassing moments as he learns to navigate the ins and outs of college life.  It's those firsts that have stuck with me and actually made me the most proud of him.

We all make mistakes.  Whether we are starting something new or have been on the same path for years.  We're not perfect.  We're going to mess up.  There are those classic words of wisdom - It's not what happens to you, but how you handle it that matters.

JJ's stories of his mishaps often start with "Well, I had another embarrassing moment" or "Wait until you guys hear what I did now."  I am envious of the way her shares these tales with an air of lightness and laughter.  When I mess up I am ravaged with embarrassment, shame and guilt.

Granted not all mistakes are on the same level as realizing you are in the wrong classroom or assuming that the cafeteria is self-serve when it is not, but the lessons can apply across the board.

1) Learn from your actions.  This can be hard to do.  As I sit here and type I am experiencing the worst heart burn at this very moment!  You know why?  I had a cup of coffee.  I am fully aware that coffee gives me heart burn.  But its a sunny breezy morning in the mountains - the perfect scenario to enjoy a cup of coffee while sitting on the deck gazing in to the woods.  So I had one and I cherished every single sip.  However, now I'm paying for it.  Will I do it again?  I'd like to say no.  I could have made another choice.  There are decaffeinated tea bags in the cupboard.

Is this view not screaming - sit back, relax and

enjoy a cup of coffee???

The way that we learn from our mistakes is by realizing that every action we take is a conscious decision.  For example, I want to react to stress in a healthier way.  My normal way of reacting to stress is to eat an entire package of Oreos.  I buy a package of Oreos and tell myself that I will only eat two - three maximum.  Stress gets the best of me and I eat the entire package.  Now I feel guilty and physically sick.  The lesson there would be to not even buy the Oreos . . . EVER!  I could have not gone to the store.  I could have gone for a walk.

Sometimes it takes a while for the lesson to take hold of our minds and hearts.  That's ok.  Our goal should be to keep trying and not give up.

2) Learn to laugh at yourself or at least not beat yourself up so badly.  This can also be hard to do.  It's so easy to mentally tear ourselves a part when we mess up.  I will feel physically hot, feel like my head is filled with water and my chest will get tingly.  Thoughts will run through my mind like "You're so stupid!" or "Why did you do that???" or "What is everyone thinking about you now?"  There are still moments in my life from years ago that, when they come to mind, bring that same reaction.  There is nothing that I can do to change those moments whether they happened today or ten years ago so why do I allow them to have such control?

Sometimes I am able to literally laugh at what a silly mistake I made and move on.  Other times it helps to physically take action to rid my mind of these thoughts.  Here are some things I do to achieve that:
     -- Pray and recite a favorite Scripture verse
     -- Say out loud, "Get out of my head!"
     -- Write what is bothering me on a piece of paper - it may not always be full sentences - and then tear that paper up into teeny tiny pieces and throw it away.
     --  Share my thoughts with someone who I know will respond in a way that will lift me up.
     -- When all else fails I turn to Ball Slams.  Head to the gym, grab a weighted medicine ball, lift it above your head and throw it to the ground as hard as you can.  It will bounce up so that you can catch it and repeat.  Depending on where I am, I've been known to verbally yell out words with each slam. Ball Slams are effective when you are feeling stressed or angry, too.  I love ball slams!

This pic is from a day I requested Ball Slams

be included in our workout!

We strive so hard to teach our children all of the important life lessons that they need to know before sending them off into the world.  Isn't it funny how they, then in turn, teach us some of those same lessons?