My dad has a favorite saying: "Plan Your Work and Work Your Plan." It's a motto that the entire Hamer Crew lives by. But what happens when you plan your work, begin to work your plan, but then life throws you a curve ball and your plan doesn't work?? You do the obvious! Dramatically throw yourself across your bed while loudly sobbing. Get the ice cream out of the freezer and eat it directly out of the carton with a serving spoon. Drive to the mall and buy yourself a new pair of shoes. Crawl into bed, throw the covers over your head and don't move for at least 12 hours.
I'm sure that at this point you expect me to say that those are not healthy reactions to planned work gone wrong, but instead I'm going to tell you that that is EXACTLY what you SHOULD do! I think that P.I.T.Y. Parties are very healthy!
P.I.T.Y. stand for PURPOSEFULLY INDULGING THE YUCKINESS.
I found that too often when things went wrong in my life I would "stuff" my emotions and put on my happy face. THAT'S not a healthy choice to make. Emotions need to be expressed - good and bad. When we stuff our bad emotions they don't go away. They simply eat away at us and show up in ways such as a headache, high blood pressure or a bad mood. Sometimes we may not even realize that our stuffed emotions are causing us harm until, over time, something drastic happens.
That's why bad emotions need to be expressed, but they should be expressed in HEALTHY ways. Throwing yourself a P.I.T.Y. party is a very healthy way to express those emotions. The key to having a healthy P.I.T.Y. party is doing it PURPOSEFULLY. Doing something on purpose indicates that you have control of the situation. So if you are going to throw yourself across your bed and sob - go ahead and release all of those yucky emotions, but get up after ten minutes. If you are going to get the ice cream out of the freezer go ahead and cover those yucky emotions with sugary sweetness, but put a scoop or two in a bowl, don't eat the entire quart. If you are going to go out and push away those yucky emotions by treating yourself to a new pair of shoes, be wise and don't splurge on a $300 pair (that will only lead to further yuckiness when you see your bank statement!). If you are going to hide from those yucky emotions for a little bit, go to bed early, but make sure you get up for work the next morning.
Once you indulge those yucky emotions by acknowledging them and releasing them in a purposeful way, you'll be ready to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on with a new plan!
A goal that I was working toward this year was to run one 5K a month. Right off the bat I had to miss the January 5K I had signed up for due to my husband's health. "No problem," I told myself. "You'll start in February and run eleven 5K's this year." I ran the Runnin' Outta My Mine 5K in February and was working my plan as I prepared for March's 5K. Then my blood pressure spun out of control (I'm a stuffer! Not releasing those yucky emotions caught up with me and showed up through a dangerously high blood pressure!) and I learned I would be sidelined for my March 5K. I was absolutely devastated. So I threw myself one heck of a P.I.T.Y party! I cried. I talked my mom, sister and best friend's ears off about how horrible this situation was for me. That night I ate four pieces of pizza instead of my normal two and indulged in a Dairy Queen Blizzard. Over the weekend I took a nap on Saturday AND Sunday afternoons. I definitely INDULGED THE YUCKINESS, but I maintained control of myself and PURPOSEFULLY told myself the party would end on Monday morning.
With the help of medication and making some lifestyle changes to start to reduce my stress, my blood pressure is back down and I've put my running shoes back on. I'm re-focused and am now planning to run ten 5K's this year. At least that's my plan . . . and believe me, I'm workin' it!